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becca1223 · Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:56 pm Post subject: Be careful what you ask...

Hillary Clinton was spending the morning at a primary school in Ithaca, New York to talk to the children about her job as a US Senator.

After her talk, she offered question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is.

"Kenneth."

"And what is your question, Kenneth?"

"I have three questions:

First - Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?

Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

And third - Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rang for recess.

Hillary Clinton informed the kids that they would continue after recess.

When they resumed, Hillary said, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time.

Who has a question?"

A different little boy raised his hand; the esteemed Senator from New York pointed him out and asked him what his name is.

"Larry."

"And what is your question?"

"I have five questions:

First - Whatever happened to your medical health care plan?

Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

Third - Whatever happened to all the stuff you and President Clinton took when you left the White House?

Fourth - Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And fifth - What happened to Kenneth?"

becca1223 · Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:16 pm Post subject:

Another...

What does your father do for a living?

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

But little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to secure the nomination of Hillary Clinton, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

USAFE5 · PO2 Joined: 23 Aug 2004 Posts: 362 Location: Reno Nevada

those were great and the timing was perfect.
_________________
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I’m here to help." Ronald Reagan

GM Strong · Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:03 pm Post subject:

It is a day in the future and Hillary's earthly time has expired. As she approaches the pearly gates, she breezes by St. Peter without even an acknowledgement to the keeper. She strolls straight to the Judgement seat and in the presence of the Lord looks him straight in the eye and says, "Move over, You are sitting in my chair."
_________________
8th Army Korea 68-69

AMOS · Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:01 am Post subject: A big one.

Musta been a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG chair.

JannDallas · Seaman Joined: 26 Sep 2004 Posts: 166 Location: Dallas, TX

A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU, was
teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly
stated that once and for all he was going to prove that there is no God.
Addressing the ceiling, he shouted, "God, if you are real, then I want
you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!!!!"

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes
went by. ??!!??!!?? "I'm waiting God, if you're real, knock me off
this platform!" Again after 4 minutes, the professor taunted God
saying, "Here I am, God!!! I'm still waiting!!!" His count got down to
the last couple of minutes when a Soldier, just released from
serving and newly registered in the class, walked up to the professor.

The Soldier hit him full force in the face, and sent the professor
tumbling from his lofty platform. The professor was out cold! The
students were stunned and shocked. The Soldier nonchalantly took his
seat in the front row and sat silent.

Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked
at the Soldier in the front row. When the professor regained his senses
and could speak he asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why
did you do that?"

The Soldier answered, "God was really busy protecting America's
soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid things and act
like an ass...so He sent me!!!"