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READ ABOUT THE POODLE'S HAIRBRUSH LMAO

 
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:13 pm    Post subject: READ ABOUT THE POODLE'S HAIRBRUSH LMAO Reply with quote

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THE FOUNDATION

"The Constitution which at any time exists, 'till changed by an explicit and authentic act of the whole People is sacredly obligatory upon all." --George Washington

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INSIGHT

"It is hostile to a democratic system to involve the judiciary in the politics of the people." --Felix Frankfurter

"That government is best which governs least." --Henry David Thoreau

"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones." --Phillips Brooks

"Anything that keeps a politician humble is healthy for democracy." --Michael Kinsley

"There is no 'slippery slope' toward loss of liberty, only a long staircase where each step down must first be tolerated by the American people and their leaders." --Alan K. Simpson

"A man who thinks of himself as belonging to a particular national group in America has not yet become an American." --Woodrow Wilson

"God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it." --Daniel Webster

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UPRIGHT

"An amnesty by any other name is still an amnesty, regardless of what the White House wants to call it. Their amnesty plan was dead on arrival when they sent it to the Congress in January, and if they send the same pig with lipstick back to Congress next January, it will suffer the same fate." --Rep. Tom Tancredo, chairman of the Congressional Immigration Reform Caucus

"The beast is dead, and the world can only be glad he'll stay that way. ... [Yasser Arafat] has gone where there are no more Jews to slay, and praise of any kind only because he is dead is an indecent betrayal of the thousands who were blown apart at his whim. A murderous scoundrel is gone, and good riddance." --Wesley Pruden

"When you write off centrist and conservative policies that reflect the will of people in the South and Midwest, you write off the South and Midwest. Democrats have never learned from the second or third or fifth kick of a mule. They continue to change only the makeup on, rather than makeup of, the Democrat Party." --Senator Zell Miller

"By conventional standards, [John] Ashcroft was among the best attorney generals in American history. Violent crime dropped 27 percent on his watch, reaching a 30-year low. Federal gun crime prosecutions rose 75 percent, and gun crimes dropped -- something that should please liberals. By unconventional standards his service was heroic. There hasn't been a single terrorist attack since 9/11, despite all predictions by experts and efforts by terrorists to the contrary. Ashcroft was willing to take gross abuse to do what was necessary." --Jonah Goldberg

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CALLING ALL PATRIOTS

As you know, The Federalist Patriot is not sustained by any political, special interest or parent organization. Nor do we accept any online or e-mail advertising. Our mission and operations are funded by -- and depend entirely upon -- the voluntary financial support of American Patriots like YOU!

The Patriot is distributed and widely redistributed without a subscription fee (in order to remain available to tens of thousands of our military, mission field and collegiate readers on restrictive budgets). However, our operating expenses are substantial.

In the last six weeks of each year, our Patriot readers step up to provide almost 60 percent of our Patriot Annual Fund revenues. Please take a moment to support The Federalist Patriot today by making a contribution to our Patriot Fund -- however large or small.

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EDITORIAL EXEGESIS

"Colin Powell's departure as Secretary of State is being seen in the circles that lost the recent election as the departure of the last Administration 'moderate,' whatever that word is supposed to mean. But we suspect President Bush sees it as his chance to select a successor who can turn the diplomatic corps into an ally and advocate of his foreign policy. These columns have often criticized Mr. Powell's department on policy grounds, but always with respect for the former General personally. He has brought many strengths to his diplomacy, not least his prestige both at home and abroad. ... Mr. Powell has also proved to be personally loyal to his boss. Notwithstanding his frequent policy differences with the White House, he is a soldier at heart; once a decision was made, he saluted (even if the rest of his department didn't). His February 2003 speech to the UN on Iraq has been criticized on the left, but it was correct based on what everyone thought they knew at the time. Mr. Powell needn't apologize for making that case against Saddam Hussein. ... [Condoleezza Rice's] first task will be to ensure that the [state] department acts as an arm of executive power and not as the in-house opposition. No doubt, engineering that sort of transformation will engender institutional resistance, just as it did at the Pentagon following Donald Rumsfeld's return and as it is now at the CIA with Porter Goss's. So be it. The world was transformed on 9/11; it's time our diplomats figure that out. If not, the Administration will simply have to conduct a real foreign policy via the National Security Council." --The Wall Street Journal

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DEZINFORMATSIA

This week's "Media Misleadia" Award: "U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft, a lightning rod of criticism by civil liberties groups for his anti-terror policies after the Sept. 11 attacks and who once even ordered the robing of two partially nude statues in his department, resigned on Tuesday." --Reuters "news" service **"[Reuters is] a lightning rod of criticism by opponents of terrorism for their pro-terror policies after the Sept. 11 attacks and which even once fabricated anti-American propaganda and fraudulently attributed it to a West Virginia reporter." --James Taranto

This week's "Sagacity" Award: "The president got re-elected by dividing the country along fault lines of fear, intolerance, ignorance and religious rule. He doesn't want to heal rifts; he wants to bring any riffraff who disagree to heel. W. ran a jihad in America so he can fight one in Iraq -- drawing a devoted flock of evangelicals, or 'values voters,' as they call themselves, to the polls by opposing abortion, suffocating stem cell research and supporting a constitutional amendment against gay marriage. Mr. Bush, whose administration drummed up fake evidence to trick us into war with Iraq, sticking our troops in an immoral position with no exit strategy, won on 'moral issues'." --Maureen Dowd **"The more Maureen Loud [sic] gets on 'Meet the Press' and writes those columns, the redder these states get. I mean, they don't want some high brow hussy from New York City explaining to them that they're idiots. ...[T]hat red-headed woman at The New York Times [should not mock anyone's religion]... You can see horns just sprouting up through that Technicolor hair." --Sen. Zell Miller

From the files of the Morally Challenged: "There may not be any other man in history who better embodies the saying that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. ... For most Israelis, many Jews, [Yasser Arafat] was a bloody terrorist and nothing more. Yet elsewhere in the world, even among Arabs who questioned his leadership, he was treated as a hero, freedom fighter, revolutionary. A diminutive man who became a larger than life symbol of the Palestinian dream." --ABC's Diane Sawyer, fawning over the father of modern terrorism

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THE DEMO-GOGUES

This week's "LimoLefty" Award: "We've got better vision, better ideas, real plans. We've got a better sense of what's happening to America -- and we've got better hair." --John Kerry, July 7 ++ "The morning after the Feb. 3 primaries, which vaulted Kerry into a virtually insurmountable lead, the candidate was fuming over his missing hairbrush. He and his aides were riding in a van on the way to a Time magazine cover-photo shoot. [Marvin] Nicholson had left the hairbrush behind. 'Sir, I don't have it,' he said, after rummaging in the bags. 'Marvin, f---!' Kerry said. The press secretary, David Wade, offered his brush. 'I'm not using Wade's brush,' the long-faced senator pouted. 'Marvin, f---, it's my Time photo shoot.' " --Newsweek, Nov. 15 issue

This week's "Moral Innumeracy" Award: "[Yasser Arafat] was the father of the modern Palestinian nationalist movement. A powerful human symbol and forceful advocate, Palestinians united behind him in their pursuit of a homeland." --Jimmy Carter, on fellow Peace Prize-winning Arafat's death 11 November -- coincidentally, Veteran's Day

This week's "Non Compos Mentis" Award: "The president won't be able to blame anyone, because the Republicans have full control. The American people did not know that [Republicans have controlled the White House, Senate and House for two years]. And now they do." --Nancy Pelosi **You mean, the Republicans had control this whole time?!

From the Egg-on-the-face Files: "The only politician in America I know with a mandate is Jim McGreevey." --James Carville ++ This week's "Quid Pro Homo" Award: "To be clear I am not apologizing for being a gay American but rather for having let personal feelings impact my decision-making and for not have having had the courage to be open about whom I was. ... I don't look back with bitterness, anger or sorrow. I look forward to seeking knowledge, a journey of self-discovery." --New Jersey Demo Gov. James McGreevey on resigning amidst rampant corruption

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VILLAGE IDIOTS

This week's "Village Victimitis" Award: "My only consolation [after Kerry's loss] is that someday this planet will be a dead cinder in the universe and all the stupidity, greed, and intolerance and their sad, sad consequences will be lost to all memory." --Kerry supporter Penny Greenberg **That's the spirit!

This week's "Ignarus Perpetuus" Award: "If indeed all those blue states all got together and seceded from the union, think what would be left for those red states -- nothing. There would be no educational system. You would have nothing. What would be left to you? I mean, where is all of this talent in this country? It's on both sides, the Northeast corridor." --Long-lost "actress" Geraldine Ferraro

This week's "Tyranny of the Few" Award: "GW Bush and the American right wing Taliban are endangering the entire planet. If the rest of the world had a say, Bush and Cheney would be in jail. Is it now morally excusable to organize midnight raids on republican [sic] groups in the red states and 'terminate' them with extreme prejudice? Watching Bush's acceptance speech on [November 3], with the Cheneys on stage as well ... who would not have liked to see a bomb go off under the stage and wipe out the whole despicable slimy lot of them?" --"moulty," a BillMaher.com reader **Oh, the tolerance!

This week's "Gender Disorientation Disorder" Award: "Months ago, we all knew that if George Bush was re-elected, 'gay marriage' would be blamed. A scapegoat is required. Offer up the gays. ...Frankly, the Right did a better job in turning out their vote in key places. They've been building their machine -- illegally, unethically, or both -- through churches for 30 years. They have seized and occupied 'moral values' for years. Our side is not going to make up these deficiencies in one cycle." --Matt Foreman, head honcho of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

This week's "Magnum Opus Ignorati" Award: "Most people dismiss fish as dimwitted pea-brains. ... Yet this is a great fallacy. In many areas, such as memory, their cognitive powers match or exceed those of 'higher' vertebrates, including non-human primates." --University of Edinburgh biologist Culum Brown

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SHORT CUTS

"We knew we were okay when Michael Moore couldn't find anything and left the state for Ohio. I guess we just weren't exciting enough for him." --Republican Spokeswoman Mindy Tucker Fletcher on Election Day in Florida

"True, [John Ashcroft] was not born with the perfect face for playing Mr. Nice Guy. George W. Bush has enough of Alfred E. Neumann about him to make his grin endearing, and Dick Cheney looks like the faux-grumpy uncle that keeps slipping you hundred dollar bills. But John Ashcroft has no fizz in his phiz, nor can he mug with that mug. He looks like a permanent 'Before' picture in a TUMS ad. Still, that is not enough to explain his accession to the status of Public Enemy Number One of the Left." --Jay Homnick

"The Mars Rover sent back stunning photos [last week] indicating the past presence of water. The pictures show tiny splotches of blue on the Red Planet. The other theory is that the satellite dish on the rover accidentally picked up CNN's election coverage." --Argus Hamilton

"The Democrats have the blues. Their guy lost the White House. Their candidates lost campaigns for the U.S. House and Senate. The map of the United States looks like someone spilled a full can of red paint upon it; the few blue states now include the State of Denial." --Rich Galen

"[Yasser] Arafat remains in stable condition after dying in a Paris hospital." --James Taranto

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NIGHTLINES

David Letterman.... "Top Ways George W. Bush Celebrated His Reelection:" Eliminated tax cut for 55 million Americans who voted for Kerry; Went trippin' on a handful of Cheney's heart pills; Thanked voters from all 59 states; Splurged on the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster; Dug out tapes of some of his favorite Texas executions; You know, the usual -- watching wrasslin' and eating yodels; Immediately started planning his 2008 reelection bid; Told prison guards to give Saddam an extra tasering.

"Top John Kerry Excuses:" Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots; Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots; Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes; The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him; Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico; Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.

Jay Leno.... As you know, U.S. military forces [attacked] the city of Fallujah. A French military strategist said today that the attack won't resolve anything. Of course, people are shocked. A French "military strategist"? What the heck is that? Is this the first one? .... If you saw the footage of Fallujah -- bullets flying through the air, smoke in the streets, people yelling in foreign languages -- it's like L.A., only with much cheaper gas. .... Here's my question: The women of Fallujah, are they called "Fallusies"? How does that work? .... Madonna said that we should pull all of our troops out of Iraq. Donald Rumsfeld said, "No, I think we'd better wait and hear what Britney Spears has to say about it first." .... As I'm sure you know by now, Yasser Afafat died last Thursday. And this time it looks pretty permanent. How many times did he die last week? Like five? Six? He was turning into Kenny on "South Park." "Oh, he's dead again! Oh, he's back! Oh, he's dead again!" .... Arafat's wife was seen grieving in the West Bank. She was also in the Citibank, the Mellon Bank, the Wells Fargo Bank. ...And in lieu of flowers the Arafat family asked that everyone just throw rocks. .... Here's some good news -- Israel said they're now ready to negotiate with Yasser Arafat. .... Bush had a cabinet meeting this morning. It was just him and Cheney. .... I'm sure you heard this story -- [Monday] President Bush had his Colin removed.

Lex et Libertas -- Semper Vigilo, Paratus, et Fidelis! Mark Alexander, Publisher, for the editors and staff. (Please pray on this day, and every day, for our Patriot Armed Forces standing in harm's way around the world in defense of our liberty, and for the families awaiting their safe return.)

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