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		| shawa CNO
 
 
 Joined: 03 Sep 2004
 Posts: 2004
 
 
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				|  Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 3:45 am    Post subject: HISTORY LESSON FOR TODAY--Funny!! |   |  
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				| Received this email today. Don't know who the author is, but its good!! 
 History Lesson for Today...
 
 Division of the human family into 2 distinct political groups began
 some 12,000 years ago.  Humans existed as members of small
 bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.  They lived on deer in the
 mountains in the summer and would go to the beach and live
 on fish and lobster in winter.
 
 The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of Beer
 and the invention of the Wheel. The Wheel was invented to get Man to
 the beer.
 
 These were the foundation of modern civilization, and together
 were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct
 subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
 
 Once beer was discovered it required grain, and that was the
 beginning of agriculture.  Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can
 were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were
 sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed
 close to the Brewery.  That's how Villages were formed.
 
 Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at
 night while they were drinking Beer.  This was the beginning of what
 is known as "the Conservative movement".
 
 Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned
 to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's
 & doing the sewing, fetching & hair dressing.
 This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.  Some of these
 liberal men eventually evolved into Women.  The rest became known
 as 'girly-men'.
 
 Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication
 of cats, the trade union, the invention of group therapy, Group Hugs,
 and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the
 meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
 
 Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
 most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
 Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
 Modern Liberals like imported Beer (with lime added), but
 most prefer White Wine or imported Bottled Water.
 They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.  Sushi, Tofu, and
 French Food are standard liberal fare.  Another interesting evolutionary
 side note: most of their Women have higher testosterone levels than
 their Men.
 
 Most Social Workers, Personal Injury Attorneys, Journalists,
 Dreamers in Hollywood and Group Therapists are Liberals.
 Liberals invented the Designated Hitter Rule, because it wasn't "fair"
 to make the Pitcher also bat.
 
 Conservatives drink domestic Beer and eat red Meat & Potatoes.
 
 Conservatives are big-game Hunters, Rodeo Cowboys, Lumberjacks,
 Construction Workers, Medical Doctors, Police Officers, Corporate
 Executives, Marines, Athletes and generally anyone who can and
 will do Work productively outside government.
 
 Conservatives who own Companies hire other Conservatives
 who want to Work for a living.
 
 Liberals produce little or nothing.  They like to "govern" the Producers
 and decide what to do with the production.  Liberals believe
 Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why
 most of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were
 coming to America.  They crept in after the Wild West was tame
 and created a business of trying to get MORE of their fair share of
 your Beer.
 
 Here ends today's lesson in World History.
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		| SandiM Lt.Jg.
 
 
 Joined: 07 Sep 2004
 Posts: 108
 Location: Perth, Western Australia
 
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				|  Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 5:13 am    Post subject: |   |  
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				| The truth has been hidden from us for all this time? Gadzooks, let's get it out there. The world deserves to know what's what. Bet the MSM ignores this too. 
 Great stuff, Shawa. Thanks. (I will show it to my son and he will just say "yeh, I ALWAYS KNEW THAT").
 _________________
 Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. (Winston Churchill)
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