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Laughture is the Best Medicine

 
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RogerRabbit
Master Chief Petty Officer


Joined: 05 Sep 2004
Posts: 748
Location: Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:23 pm    Post subject: Laughture is the Best Medicine Reply with quote

http://www.townhall.com/news/politics/200504/CUL20050427b.shtml

Quote:
ctivist Demands Respect for Chickens

(CNSNews.com) - A woman dedicated to the "compassionate and respectful treatment of domestic fowl" has declared May 4 "International Respect for Chickens Day."

Karen Davis, the founder and president of United Poultry Concerns, describes May 4 as a day to "celebrate the dignity, beauty and life of chickens and to protest against the bleakness of their lives in farming operations."

"Chickens are lively birds who have been torn from the leafy world in which they evolved. We want chickens to be restored to their green world and not be eaten," Davis said in a press release.

On "International Respect for Chickens Day," humans are urged to show compassion for chickens - for example, writing letters to the editor, setting up booths in shopping malls or "showing the movie Chicken Run to students, family and friends."

Davis describes chickens as "heroic protectors of their families and flocks" and "highly intelligent individuals" with advanced "social skills."

She quotes one professor as saying that "chickens are sentient creatures and have feelings of their own."

Davis's United Poultry Concerns urges people to "celebrate Easter without eggs." It has campaigned against the White House Easter Egg Roll, the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book series; and even compared the attacks on the World Trade Center to what "millions of chickens endure every day."

In a Feb. 12, 2005 Letter to the Editor of the Washington Post, Karen Davis noted she spends her days with chickens and turkeys and she praised their intelligence: "The day may come when to be called a 'chicken' or a 'turkey' will be rightly regarded as a salute to a person's intelligence," she wrote.

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DLI78
PO3


Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 273

PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
"The day may come when to be called a 'chicken' or a 'turkey' will be rightly regarded as a salute to a person's intelligence,"


That will be the day when the ACLU and PETA types become the majority.

Every time I hear some more stuff from PETA or their clones I'm reminded of a Chinese saying: "dumber than a wooden chicken."

Now all this talk of chickens has made me very hungry. I think I'll go raid the freezer and see what kind of prepared chicken parts we have. Hmmmm: Chicken tenders, nuggets, drumsticks, hot wings, chicken dogs (with pork), chicken taquitos (little rolled tacos made with chicken).

Let's all commit to celebrate International Chicken Day with barbecues across America of our favorite bird (it's a lot healther to eat than beef or pork).

Chickens are the tasty animals that more people prefer to eat (in a nod to the quote Doll puts on her posts).
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tony54
PO2


Joined: 01 Sep 2004
Posts: 369
Location: cleveland, ohio

PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 10:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here. And
frankly, I am sick and tired of the chicken.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq Ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a
complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat
on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of
a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I
say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No-one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay---isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other
side'. That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side".

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

DR. PHIL
He crossed with eyes wide open.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
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Snipe
Senior Chief Petty Officer


Joined: 03 Jun 2004
Posts: 574
Location: Peoria, Illinois

PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the possum that it was possible, of course.

(^_^)
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PhantomSgt
Vice Admiral


Joined: 10 Sep 2004
Posts: 972
Location: GUAM, USA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tony54 wrote:
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here. And
frankly, I am sick and tired of the chicken.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq Ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a
complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat
on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of
a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I
say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No-one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay---isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other
side'. That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side".

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

DR. PHIL
He crossed with eyes wide open.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?


UNKNOWN POLITICIAN
"I promise you, I will put a chicken in every pot if elected". (Not sure if this politician that promoted mass genocide of chickens was elected or not. No wonder they were running across the road to escape their fate.)

FRANK PERDUE (Deceased chicken salesman.)
My Chickens are prettier than I am, so they stay on my side of the road.
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RogerRabbit
Master Chief Petty Officer


Joined: 05 Sep 2004
Posts: 748
Location: Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
UNKNOWN POLITICIAN
"I promise you, I will put a chicken in every pot if elected". (Not sure if this politician that promoted mass genocide of chickens was elected or not. No wonder they were running across the road to escape their fate.)


The unkown politician was Herbert Hoover, a Republican

Quote:



The link between Hoover and the phrase "a chicken in every pot" can be traced to a paid advertisement which apparently originated with the Republican National Committee, who inserted it into a number of newspapers during the 1928 campaign. The ad described in detail how the Republican administrations of Harding and Coolidge had "reduced hours and increased earning capacity, silenced discontent, put the proverbial 'chicken in every pot.' And a car in every backyard, to boot." The ad concluded that a vote for Hoover would be a vote for continued prosperity.

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