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Subject: The Gunfighter

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more
than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in The West. He practised
every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate
and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognised an elderly man
seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the
West in his day. The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer,
bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.

"Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing you're
wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your
leg."

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his six-shooter
and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

"That's terrific!" said the young cowboy. "Got any more tips for me? "

"Yep," said the old man, "cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer
hits sits. That'll give you a smoother draw."

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in
a blur, and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" said the cowboy,
"I'm learnin' somethin' here - got anymore tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that
grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the
barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and
all."

"Will that give me an even quicker draw?" asked the young cowboy.

"Nope," said the old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp's done playin' the piano,
he's going to shove that six-shooter up your arse, and it it'll ease the
pain a little"

[blue9t3]

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MOPAR-BUYER