MrJapan
PO1
Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Posts: 465
Location: Chiba, Japan
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 Posted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 12:28 am Post subject: See any similarities? |
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I found this funny story on the web and thought it worth posting. Sorry if you have read it before, but I thought it was interesting how you could tell which side of the spectrum the people in the story stood 
| Quote: | Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered
by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new
form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair
off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework
tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will
e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner
will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and
send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add
a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has
been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is be
absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say
must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca
and Gary.
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile,
which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too
much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But
she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His
possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much that
her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in
orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent
one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said
into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of
resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper
one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared
out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from
her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why
must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of
miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a
defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on
the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive
explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other
Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't
allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing
are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or
shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed
bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
(Rebecca)
A-hole.
(Gary)
B*tch |
 
The site claimed that these 2 pupils were the only 2 to recieve an A for their work |
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