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Me#1You#10
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Joined: 06 May 2004
Posts: 6503
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 Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 12:55 am Post subject: "Narration Is Unbearable" |
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An icy review on the latest global warmism agitprop from National Geographic...
"Someday I'll be showing my kids this film as a teaching aid, too, but I'll use it to point out the dangers posed by nature's most terrifying animals: Democrats."
| Quote: | NARRATION IS UNBEARABLE
By KYLE SMITH
July 25, 2007 -- THE North Pole adventure "Arctic Tale" stars a creature who, despite severely inhospitable conditions and agonizing defeats, never quite becomes extinct, thanks to a thick, 2- to 4-inch layer of blubber.
Al Gore? No, the polar bear, who along with a baby walrus named Seela is the focus of this nature movie brilliantly edited into a narrative from 15 years worth of icy footage.
Awesome nature photography takes us inside the very ice caves where baby polar bears first peek at the world, to thrilling fights and magical undersea voyages. Toward the end, the camera is right there during, or perhaps just after, the birth of polar bear twins. Amazing stuff, and cinema doesn't get any better than baby polar bears.
But the script, narrated by Queen Latifah, is so embarrassingly dorky (it was co-written by Kristin Gore) that it's like Fred Rogers gone hip-hop. Of the walruses, we hear, "That's right! Those sweet 'staches aren't just for style!" and "Everybody's up in each other's business!" and "That's just how they roll." "We Are Family" plays while walruses laze on a rock, and later we get "Celebration" after a polar bear meal.
We could have done without the farting walruses sequence, too.
The film warns that the animals are at dire risk because of the shrinking ice cap, but the message is stamped in with editorializing: When a polar bear tries to find a hunk of ice to stand on, Latifah says, "This is not like any winter mother bear has seen before." (Really? In what interview did she tell you that?)
And out of nowhere comes a chilling arctic blast of eco-feminism: The heroes of the film are two daughters, their mothers and a protective walrus called "Auntie."
Polar bear twins, a female and a male, are referred to throughout by the following names: "Nanu" and "her brother."
The males in the film are either chided for being incompetent - a boy bear "lacks focus," says Latifah, sounding like a schoolteacher about to zap the kid with Ritalin - or shown as mean and greedy.
Every time a male polar bear tries to get an honest meal, or even to protect the carcass he just killed from scavengers, Hitchcockian scare music plays and Latifah speaks sternly: "The male is not in the habit of sharing and could easily kill her." (Why should he share? This is the wilderness, not a Montessori school.)
When the females go looking for fellow creatures to kill, bright music plays and the narrator cheers them on.
When male walruses murmur their mating calls, Latifah sniffs that the females don't need them: "The ladies have better things to do with their time." Better things than propagating the species? Are they busy watching "The View"?
At the end, a parade of multiracial cherubs marches in to try to turn your kids into roboscolds who will accuse you of killing polar bears if you buy frozen food, use bright light bulbs, stay in the shower too long or fail to buy a Prius.
Someday I'll be showing my kids this film as a teaching aid, too, but I'll use it to point out the dangers posed by nature's most terrifying animals: Democrats.
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GenrXr
Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
Joined: 05 Aug 2004
Posts: 1720
Location: Houston
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| Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 4:43 am Post subject: |
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I love looking at National Geographic pictures. They consistently have the best photos of any publication, yet their left slant leaves me quesy after viewing it.
Why can't these 'educational' mag's just stick to the facts and leave ideologies out of it.
The GW religion has the potential to kill on a scale mankind has never witnessed. Pol Pot and his attempt to create an agrarian society comes to mind. Millions died.
The GW crowd could end up killing billions.
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"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy |
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BuffaloJack
Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 1637
Location: Buffalo, New York
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| Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 11:15 am Post subject: |
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My biggest fear is that the Global Warming nuts will actually put one of their nutcake schemes in place (sulfur in the upper atmosphere for instance).
Imagine if the New Ice Age nuts from the 60s and 70s actually spread billions of tons of soot on the polar ice caps to warm the earth like they planned.
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Swift Boats - Qui Nhon (12/69-4/70), Cat Lo (4/70-5/70), Vung Tau (5/70-12/71) |
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