SwiftVets.com

[Guest]

http://soundamerica.com/sounds/comedy/Abbott_&_Costello/wof.wav

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today,
> their infamous
> >>sketch,"Who's on first?" might have turned out
> something like this:
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Super Duper computer
> store';
Can I help you?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my
> den and I'm thinking
> >>about buying a
> computer';

> >>ABBOTT: Mac?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Your computer?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy
> one
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Mac?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: What about Windows?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when
I look
> at
the windows?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a
> computer and software.
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I
> can use to write
> >>proposals, track expenses and run my business.
> What do you have?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Office.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
> anything?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: I just did.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: You just did what?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Recommend something.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: You recommended something?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Yes.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: For my office?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Yes.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my
> office?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Office.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows!
> OK, let's just say
> I'm
> >>sitting at my computer and I want to type a
> proposal. What do I need?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Word.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: What word?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Word in Office.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue
> "W".
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you
> don't start with
> some
> >>straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch
> movies on the Internet?
>
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What
> I watch is none of
> >>your business. Just tell
> me' what I need!
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Real One.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to
> watch reels 2, 3 and 4.
>
> >>Can I watch them?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Of course.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Great! With what?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Real One.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to
> watch a movie. What do
> I
> >>do?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: The blue "1".
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W"
> is Word.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: What word?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for
> windows"!
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular
> Word in the world.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: It is?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many
> other Words left. It
> >>pretty much wiped out all the other Words out
> there.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real
> One isn't even part
>
> >>of Office.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about
> financial
> >>bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my
> money with?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Money.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Money.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Money
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my
> computer? How much?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: One copy.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy
> money?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
> >>
> >>(A few days later) (Phone rings)
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help
> you?
> >>
> >>COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
> >>
> >>ABBOTT: Click on "START".......

[lonevoice]

LOL!!!!!!!

The only thing that would make it funnier is imagining one talking with an outsourced accent, if you catch my drift.....
_________________
It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.
-Mother Teresa

If it's not a baby, you're not pregnant.
-me

[SBD]

That was good, it reminds me of one time when my older brother who is 12 years older than me had to get something off the computer. I told him to grab the mouse and he thought I was crazy.

SBD