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[republicanveteran]

Sunday, August 15, 2004

How to rid ourselves of democrats

I am remembering a particular narrative written about by the imcomparible James H. Michener in his novel "Centennial". I will paraphrase what happened:

[It seems that in one particuar county near Denver in late 1800's, there were only five democrats in the county. They were close friends and accompanied each other everywhere. The democrates contracted with a hunter/guide named "Alford" to take them on a hunting expedition.

While they were in the mountains, a terrible blizzard occurred, followed by a terribly cold winter and the hunting party were all trapped for months in the mountains.

After the thaw, "Alford" came down from the mountains fat, contented and picking his teeth and none of the democrats were ever found. The town pieced together the facts and arrested "Alford".

During his trial the judge said to "Alford" : "Dammit, Alford, there were only five democrats in the whole county and you ate them all."

The jury, all Republicans, aquitted "Alford" because he had performed a great public service to the county]

Lo, would it ever be so, even now...

New Motto: "I like democrats, they taste just like chicken"

// posted by Proud Republican @ 1:14 PM 0 comments

[P. Aaron]

A day at the beach

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days
off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing.
He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston
Isle in his Pope mobile when suddenly he notices a
frantic commotion just off shore.

There was John Kerry struggling frantically to
free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark. As
the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came
racing up with two men aboard. One of the men,
President George W. Bush quickly fired a harpoon
into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached
out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John
Kerry from the water. Then using (autographed
Round Rock Express) baseball bats, the two
heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into
the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them
to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your
brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there
was some bitter hatred between President Bush
and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own
eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick
"Who was that?"

"It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct
contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."

"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to
God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about
shark fishing................how's the bait holding up?"
_________________
A willing tool of the "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy" since 1981.

[You GottaBeKidding]

P. Aaron,

You had me laughing out loud with this one. Bait, indeed!