SwiftVets.com

[HawkeyeLonewolf]

Per moderator request...

The Glory of John
(parody of "The Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera)
By Kevin L. Kitchens

Tonight it's very clear,
My record's what I fear.
There's so many things
I have to hide
I gotta make up something.
Something that those losers will buy.

Sometimes I just forget,
Say things that contradict.
But everyone knows
that I'm still lying.
I don't wanna lose now.
I could never find a real job.

I am the man who will fabricate honor.
I'll be the hero the left's looking for.
Married for money.
It's not my S.U.V., but I
Do it all for the glory of John.

I was in Vietnam.
I'm sure you've heard that song.
Took a camera so they'd believe me.
Faked a few injuries;
Shot a running kid in the back.

I am the man who will fabricate honor.
I'll be the hero the left's looking for.
Three purples hearts;
Who cares how I got them, but I
Did it all for the glory of John.

On a dock off of Martha's Vineyard,
Many, many years ago.
Just in time I did save the day:
I kept all the drowning hamsters safe.

I am the man who will fabricate honor.
Flipping and flopping, which one you voting for?
Vote for John Kerry;
Though like Lurch I'm scary, but I
Do it all for the glory of John.

So what I'm a liar
And my pants are on fire, but I
Do it all for the glory of John...

Ooo ooo ooo ooo.

I did it for for John...
I do it all for John...
Teresa's like my mom...
She loves her little John...

©2004 Kevin L. Kitchens, All Rights Reserved



Kerry Chameleon
(Parody of Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon")
by Kevin L. Kitchens

Vietnam was just one step on your way.
You've been telling your big lies since that day.
You're a man... without conviction.
In the wind... you always blow
The tales you tell are full of fiction
You flip and flop...
You flip and flop...

Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
Votes Yes and No.
Votes Yes and No.
He'd sell us to the UN and he'd turn us into France.
He won't get the chance.
He won't get the chance.

You faked three purples hearts and left your tour.
Came back home to States, your plans impure.
Betrayed our troops with horrid fables.
Protested the war to gain your fame.
Our POWs morale was withered.
You helped the Cong...
You helped the Cong...

Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
No honor at all.
No honor at all.
Swifties did expose you and your lies begin again.
You will not win.
You will not win.

The most liberal man in the Senate,
You change your mind every minute.
The most liberal man in the Senate,
You change your mind every minute.

You're a man... without conviction
In the wind... you always blow
Out more fibs all full of fiction
You flip and flop
You flip and flop...

Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
Votes Yes and No
Votes Yes and No
He'd sell us to the UN and he'd turn us into France.
He won't get the chance.
He won't get the chance.
Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
No honor at all.
No honor at all.
Swifties did expose you and your lies begin again.
You will not win.
You will not win.
Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Kerry Chameleon
It's time to go.
It's time to go.
After the election, don't try to pull a Gore.
It's Bush for four more!
It's Bush for four more!

©2004 Kevin L. Kitchens, All Rights Reserved


Bush's Landslide
(Parody of "Landslide" by Stevie Nicks/Dixie Chicks)
by Kevin L. Kitchens

My vote's for Bush, and not that clown.
I learned the truth and turned around.
I saw that this country was safer now.
Bush's landslide will bring Kerry down.

Oh, the media will be shocked
What do they know?
America comes before my party's blow.
Can I vote for the man who picked this country up?
Can I do what's right instead of left?

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause of the lies that liberals sell
But knowledge makes you bolder
Those lies are getting older
And I'm getting older too.

Oh John Kerry, you've come unwound.
We learned the truth, and you're a clown
Bush has led us well through these tough times
And his landslide will bring you down.

Oh Bush is winning those on both sides
And his landslide will bring you down.

©2004 Kevin L. Kitchens, All Rights Reserved



Road to Nowhere
(Parody of Talking Heads "Road to Nowhere")
by Kevin L. Kitchens

The campaign's all but over, but you don't know what went wrong.
Your candidate is a loser, why'd you'd keep him for so long?
Cause you're blind to the real truth, don't confuse you with the facts.
Liberalism is dying, and it won't get back on track.

Yeah!

You're on the road to nowhere, Kerry's your guide.
You'll take the ride to nowhere, Teddy can drive.
Hillary's mad this morning, and so what's new?
You had a goal to socialize, and you failed, and you failed.

You're plummeting into nowhere, John's plans are dead.
Freefalling into nowhere, watch the road Ted!
Maybe '08 can save you, Hillary's turn.
If the public would only shut their eyes, believe your lies, believe your lies.

You're on the road to nowhere!
You're on the road to nowhere!
You're on the road to nowhere!

There's a line, it's very fine, your decency drops all the time, but it's alright, Hillary it's alright.
The White House is far away, it's getting farther day by day, but it's alright, Hillary it's alright.
Well we're sure you've got a plot, like your heart it's full of rot, but it's alright, Hillary it's alright.
Well we know just what you'll do, America you'll try to screw, but it's alright, Hillary it's alright.

You're on the road to nowhere!
You're on the road to nowhere!
You're on the road to nowhere!
You're on the road to nowhere!

©2004 Kevin L. Kitchens, All Rights Reserved



Silly Little Protests
(parody by Kevin L. Kitchens)

You'd think that people
would have had enough of silly protests.
I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Whoa no.
These morons want to fill the world,
with silly protests.
What's wrong with them?
I'd like to know.
But here they go... Again!!!

Their...view...stinks...
Their...view's...weak...

Their...view...stinks...
Their...view's...weak...

I can't explain, the mindset of these loons
Explain to me.
Oh, their side is small
They just hate everything
Explain to me.
What's wrong with them?
I need to know.
'Cause here they go... AGAIN!!!

Their...view...stinks...
Their...view's...weak...

Freedom carries a price with it...
Sometimes the cost is high to pay.
But you know you have to have it...
To be so silly.
To be so silly.
These protests make no sense at all...

How should we tell the troops about this treason?
How should we tell the troops about this treason?

[rb325th]

Thankyou!!
_________________
U.S. Army 1983-1995, 11C1P/11H2P NBTDT

[Digger]

Kerry man, hairy man, tall dark and scary man
Open up your cavernous mouth
all your assets going south
You've no future here you see
in this land where men are free
Your time has come and gone away
not to come another day
Your lies confound you, tie your hands
You'll not be mistaken for a man
A coward you will always be
accursed and without sympathy
Men will shun you, turn their backs
against the venom of your attacks
None will hear you, call your name
you will live alone in shame.
_________________
Hey swifty, I'm with you, Just watch you don't get "Kerry'd away in the propwash

Sgt. Maj. Seamus D.D. MacNemi R.M.C. Ret.

[The Balloon Artist]

To the tune of "I'm a Girl Watcher" by the O'kaysions

Chorus:
Sign the 180, sign the 180
The press is on my side, my my
sign the 180? sign the 180?
Must have lost your mind

I was just home boy when I threw away medals
And found a new pastime to dwell on
Whenever I detect members of the press
I play the game I do so well on

Sign the 180, sign the 180
The press is on my side, my my
sign the 180? sign the 180?
Must have lost your mind

Hey did I tell you I, I, served my country well
I got all these medals that I wear
Wonder if you know the truth behind the show.
I'm not anwering any questions

Sign the 180, sign the 180
The press is on my side, my my
sign the 180? sign the 180?
Must have lost your mind
_________________

Lt Kerry's Purple Hearts Club Band

Was thirty odd years ago they say
Lt. Kerry told his band to say
They've been tellin' stories very wild
And they're guaranteed to raise an eye
So may I introduce to you
The act you've not known all these years
Lt. Kerry's Purple Heart's Club Band.
We're Lt. Kerrys Purple Hearts Club Band,
We hope you will enjoy the show,
Lt. Kerry's Purple Hearts Club Band,
there's nothing here for you to know.
Lt. Kerry's Purple, Lt. Kerry's Purple,
Lt. Kerry's Purple Hearts Club Band.
It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
You're such a lovely audience,
We'd like for you to vote for us,
We'd love you to vote for us.
I don't really want to stop the show,
But there's things we don't want you to know,
the singer used to sing this song,
And he wants you all to go along.
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Johnny's Here
And Lt. Kerry's Purple Hearts Club Band.

A little help from the press

What would you think if I spoke to the Guard,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I’ll give you my speech,
And I’ll try not to change policies.
I get by with a little help from the press,
Polls get high with a little help from the press,
Going to Lie with a little help from the press.
What do I do when my lines get away.
(does it worry you to be quoted)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(are you sad because of lines you've blown)
No I get to lie with a little help from the press,
Do you need anybody,
to forge some documents.
Could it be Dan Rather
I want somebody to forge.
Would you believe in a film farenheit,
Yes I’m certain that it's true all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light,
I can’t tell you, but I know it’s Mike.
Oh I get by with a little help from the press,
Do you need anybody,
I just need someone to vote,
Could it be anybody,
I want somebody to vote.
I get to lie with a little help from the press,
Yes I get by with a little help from the press,
With a little help from the press.



Both Sides Now

I'm on Both Sides Now

Boats and trips Cambodia
Rice crispies in my derrière
Earned 3 purple hearts if you care
I’ve looked at war that way
Now all they want to talk to about
The swifts vets tell on every one
So many things I’ve really done
Now they got in my way
I’ve looked at war from both sides now
From pro and con and still somehow
It’s war’s allusions I recall
I really don’t know war at all

Yeas and nays and senate votes
The dizzy crazy way you feel
And every liberal tale comes real
I’ve looked at votes that way
But now it's just another show
And leave ‘em wondering where'd you go?
Just say yes 'fore saying no
And never sign one eighty
I've looked at Votes from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
My vote decisions I recall
I really don't know votes at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To hear you’re not Bush from the crowd
Dreams and schemes and voter fraud
My campaigns run that way
Oh but now Jim Lehers looking strange
He shakes his head
My positions changed
Well something's lost but something's gained
In lying every day
I've looked at lies from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
My positions I can't recall
I really don't know lies at all
It's lie's delusions I recall
I really don't know lies
I really don't know lies at all

And now with another song

to the tune "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus"

I spent Christmas in Cambodia
underneath the tracer firelight
They didn’t see me sneak
Up river where it’s deep
They thought that I was down
The Mekong in my bunk asleep
Then
This guy gave me his boonie cap
Underneath the darkened winter night
Oh
what a night for me and crew
if the story had been true
John Kerry in Cambodia that night
_________________
What about John Kerry's four months in Vietnam qualify him to be president?
Al Gore was there for five.

[The Balloon Artist]

Ohio with apologies to Niel Young. (some)

Lib lawyers and Kerry's coming
Wish we were left alone.
These ballots I hear they're counting,
More votes in Ohio.

Gotta get down to it
Lawyers are flying in town
Should have made laws long ago.
What if there's vote fraud?
And find your address is wrong
How can you win if you lost?

Gotta get down to it
Lawyers are flying to town
John said we're counting them all.
What if there's vote fraud?
And find your identity is wrong
How can you win if you lost?

Lib Lawyers and Kerry's coming,
Wish we were left alone.
Provisional ballots oh,
More votes in Ohio.

How many more?
More votes in Ohio

Oh
More votes in Ohio

Where?
More votes in Ohio
_________________
What about John Kerry's four months in Vietnam qualify him to be president?
Al Gore was there for five.