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AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT
This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
board. This is a true story.Had this guy died, he'd have received a
Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade.On the
day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story
building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left
over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of
500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower
them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of
the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up
to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I
went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow
descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report
form that I weigh135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the
ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of
the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of
the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel,
which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This
explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar
bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only
slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers
of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by
this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.At
approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down
the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the
barrel coming up.This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken
tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck
began to change slightly. The encounter with the Barrel seemed to slow
me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and
fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.I am sorry to report,
however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move,
I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope
and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down
onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your
inquiry.

[DLI78]

So what you're saying is.... Australia is a Blue State? Dang, I thought they were allies.
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DLI 78
Army Linguist
1978-1986

[happyday]

Best laugh I've had in ages
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God Bless America, and God Bless the Swiftees!

[LewWaters]

The story is definitely funny, but hardly true. Variants have been in use for nearly a century now, including Laurel and Hardy's 1937 film, "Way Out West."

Still, how can you not laugh when you read it?

http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.asp
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Clark County Conservative

[NoNaYet]

This is virtually the same as the song "Why Paddy's Not at Work Today", which was performed by the Clancy Brothers.

NoNaYet

[Steve Z]

"And I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks!"

It's probably not true, because how could a guy dumb enough to do that while still healthy fill out an accident report after his injuries?

Is there a Palm Beach County in Australia? If so, maybe this guy lives there!
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The traitor will crater!