| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Me#1You#10
Site Admin
Joined: 06 May 2004
Posts: 6503
|
 Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 1:36 am Post subject: It was a dark and stormy Christmas Eve... |
 |
|
Iowahawk, get busy...Brainster lays down his satiric gauntlet...
| Quote: | Sunday, May 28, 2006
John F. Kerry Fan Fiction
It was a dark and stormy Christmas Eve on the Mekong. We had left Sa Dec a few hours earlier, and were still exhilarated over the adventure of the drawbridge. As we came out of the town we realized that even with the drawbridge up all the way, we'd have very little clearance. But we decided to gun it rather than wait for low tide and made it through with about an inch to spare. The villagers who had come to watch us smash up applauded politely.
We were in that nebulous area between Cambodia and South Vietnam. The CIA spook was applying lampblack to his face. The hat was lying on the table between us. It was big and floppy and camo and I lusted after it.
The CIA man grunted. He was featureless like all spooks; after 4-5 missions they all started to look the same. But his voice was pure Southern farmboy.
"Y'all want the hat?" Before he could withdraw the offer I snatched it up and put it on my head a jaunty angle. He smiled, but it was a cold smile. "Y'all gotta swap one of yours."
I hesitated. The only hat besides my regulation Navy equipment was my old Red Sox cap, autographed by Eddie Yost himself. I liked to think of it as my lucky cap. But it wasn't camo, and it wasn't the hat of a real CIA man. So I handed over the baseball cap.
This was one of those unofficial missions that I chafed at. "Surely Nixon can't be running the government already," I had complained to Elliot when receiving my orders. "He's not the President yet!"
Commander Elliot had winked. "This has been Nixon's war all along, you know that as well as I do."
Gardner poked his head in the door. "Couple PBJs--err, PBRs coming up, Skippy--err, Skipper." I could see him surpressing a grin and wondered why, then cursed and whipped off the camo hat. Later that night I would have to put it in the secret compartment of my attache case. Otherwise Gardner and the other guys would undoubtedly visit indignities on it, which would probably lead to mildew.
I groaned at the news of the PBRs. The f'ing Navy couldn't do anything right. Elliot had assured me this area would be clear. But as the craft approached us, a mortar whistled overhead. "What was that?" I yelled. The second one hit the water only a few yards away.
The PBRs took off and we darted into Cambodia. Again, but not for the last time.
(Note: This is a post from the Kerry Haters days, suddenly topical again thanks to Le Fraude's decision to reopen the Christmas in Cambodia story yet again.)
-Pat
Brainster |
Last edited by Me#1You#10 on Wed May 31, 2006 3:07 am; edited 1 time in total |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
BuffaloJack
Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 1637
Location: Buffalo, New York
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 1:56 am Post subject: |
|
|
You#10,
That was really pretty good.
It would be even better if several months from now sKerry actually remembered having it seared into his brain and started using it in his campaign.
As kate stated before in other posts, the kerryites routinely cruise this site. Without a doubt, sKerry and his henchmen WILL read it and remember it.
Jack
_________________
Swift Boats - Qui Nhon (12/69-4/70), Cat Lo (4/70-5/70), Vung Tau (5/70-12/71) |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Me#1You#10
Site Admin
Joined: 06 May 2004
Posts: 6503
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 2:07 am Post subject: |
|
|
Jack, I'd like to see this develop into an internet cottage industry of biting ridicule directed at that pompous, egotistical lying fraud. I can just imagine what scribes like Iowahawk might do with this theme...
"It was a dark and stormy Christmas Eve..." |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
GenrXr
Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
Joined: 05 Aug 2004
Posts: 1720
Location: Houston
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 6:52 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Me#1You#10 wrote: | Jack, I'd like to see this develop into an internet cottage industry of biting ridicule directed at that pompous, egotistical lying fraud. I can just imagine what scribes like Iowahawk might do with this theme...
"It was a dark and stormy Christmas Eve..." |
dont forget Scott Ott
_________________
"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Anker-Klanker
Admiral
Joined: 04 Sep 2004
Posts: 1033
Location: Richardson, TX
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 2:52 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Film at 11:00? People, people, people... If it wasn't captured on film by Super Cameraman Hero Ltjg "I've got the hat" sKerry it simply can't be true! Can it? (And there's the "rub" in the Christmas in Cambodia story, right there!) Unless, of course, he can call on The Magic Hat as a material eye witness to prove otherwise.
Speaking of which, you reckon he's got any documentary film showing the Magic Hat? Surely, if it's got the magical qualities he claims, he used it as a prop sometime or another in his illustrious filming career. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
LimaCharlie
PO2
Joined: 25 Aug 2004
Posts: 386
Location: Oregon
|
| Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 3:27 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have three of the magic hats, a black beret with an advisor patch, and a SEAL Team t-shirt given to me by a SEAL. Guess I should run for POTUS. I am over qualified.
_________________
I was going to become an anarchist, but they had too many rules. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
I B Squidly
Vice Admiral
Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 879
Location: Cactus Patch
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
......ahhhh, the HAT! That's where I had them. I proved with geometric logic "There was a HAT!" and I would have produced that hat if they hadn't pulled me out of action. I know now, that thoroughly disloyal officers were out to get me.....
-J F'n Queery
_________________
"KILL ALL THE LAWYERS!"
-Wlm Shakespeare |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Wing Wiper
Rear Admiral
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 664
Location: Oregon
|
| Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 8:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: | | Guess I should run for POTUS. |
You would get my vote. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kate
Admin
Joined: 14 May 2004
Posts: 1891
Location: Upstate, New York
|
| Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 6:49 pm Post subject: |
|
|
that hat puts skerry right up there with the
| Quote: |
Great Orators of the Democratic Party
"One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
"The buck stops here."--Harry S. Truman
"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."--John F. Kennedy
"They gave me a hat. I have the hat to this day. I have the hat."--John Kerry
|
hat-tip James Taranto, Best Of The Web Today May 30
_________________
.
one of..... We The People |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
