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Doc Farmer

9/11 Conspiracy Theories -- The Latest Popular Political Lie
Written by Doc Farmer
Thursday, August 17, 2006

Y'know, I'm always amazed at the intelligence and adaptability of people. How they can assess a situation, analyze the various components, determine the cause/effect process, and come up with innovative answers and solutions to various circumstances. That's given us cars, airplanes, sliced bread, plutonium, that "new and improved" Segway two-wheeled scooter thingy, and, of course, Pop Tarts. Yet, at the same time, I have to marvel at how some people can take all those situations, components, processes, etc., and come up with the most moronic theories, assumptions, and SWAG (Scientific Wild-Assed Guess).

Now, sadly, this stupidity seems to have gained full flower. And all from a "study" or poll done a few weeks back, which claims that a full one third of all Americans (that's 100 million people) believe that the United States Government was complicit or actively involved in the 9/11 attacks. Granted, they only asked 1010 Americans their opinion, and I've complained about the inaccuracy of 'scientific' polls in the past, but this is just a bit much.

I believe in conspiracies, just in case you're wondering. I know there was more to JFK's death than some whacked out ex-jarhead married to a Rooskie. Whenever Dad has to go down to Wright-Patterson AFB to pick up his prescriptions, I always make sure to ask him to "wave at the aliens" who were transported there from Roswell. I know that American Idol is fixed. Therefore, nobody can say that I totally dismiss all conspiracy theories.

However, this one is just so stupid it beggars belief.

Studies have been done to show what happened on 9/11. Hell, an entire (and ill-conceived) Congressional Committee examined the attacks in detail. While biased beyond belief (see also: Gorelick, Jamie, who should have been on the witness stand instead of the committee) it did at least find that America was attacked by outside forces. No credible evidence of any kind of government involvement, complicity or cover-up was ever found. Even so, that has not caused any slow-down in rabid political (and junk-science) discussions. There are even websites dedicated to not only discussing the conspiracy, but also sending out attack teams to hit other discussion forums with their mindless drivel. The ChronWatch Forum was a recent victim to such an influx of the dendritically-challenged over the weekend. They asked stupid questions, they gave stupid answers, they provided no true evidence, and they spent most of their time being jerks.

In other words, your standard lib/dem/soc/commie profile.

The so-called "left" has been working since day one (in this case, 20 January 2001) to find a way to get rid of their arch-nemesis, the evil Dubya. When 9/11 happened, lib/dem/soc/commies (very) briefly pretended to be patriotic. Well, they tried, anyway. Lasted about two weeks, and then their attacks began. Ever since then, they've talked out of both sides of their mouths (as well as a few other orifices) about how everything that happens is Dubya's fault. Global Warming, no, Global Cooling, no, Global Climate Change, yeah, that's the ticket. High unemployment is Dubya's fault, even though we're at historically LOW levels. The economy is tanking, even though it's in the best shape it has been in years. Every single charge the lib/dem/soc/commies make is found to be bogus. Even their "evidence" is manufactured (see also: Rather, Dan).

So, where is the truth? Someone once said that the truth is usually found in the middle of two sides. In the case of 9/11, though, the truth is quite simple. America was attacked, brutally, by Islamofascist terrorists. Planes were hijacked and flown into three buildings (and, very nearly, a fourth one). America witnessed this -- in some cases, live on TV. The first plane crash was recorded on film. The second one was seen as it happened. The Pentagon crash was witnessed by a number of drivers who saw the plane hit the building. There's ample evidence to back up EVERY government claim about the attacks that day.

Despite this, lib/dem/soc/commie whackos (see also: base, their) insist that Dubya did it. Yes, this man whom they constantly describe as the dumbest thing on two legs (yes, even though he's not blond!) somehow coordinated a massive attack on America and the cover-up that followed. He planted physical evidence. He ordered the controlled demolition of buildings (which can take weeks of very noticeable preparation). He ordered missiles to hit the Pentagon, and then magically transformed them into airplane parts. Hell, he even has figured out a way to hide almost 3,000 people for nearly five years.

Note to lib/dem/soc/commies: He is either a total moron or an evil genius. He can't be both. Make up your freakin' minds already!

The towers fell that terrible day because they were hit by two quarter-million pound objects moving at a few hundred miles an hour, loaded with highly flammable fuel. The fire from the impact weakened the steel infrastructure (it didn't melt it, and nobody I know ever claimed it did) enough to cause a single floor to collapse. Since it had anywhere from 20 to 40 floors above it, a pancake effect was inevitable. Which is what the world saw that day.

And yet, the lib/dem/soc/commies seem to think that they're a bunch of Jedi trainees -- "your eyes can deceive you, don't trust them" -- so they move around blindly, waving around their version of a lightsabre (see also: penknife), without a midi-chlorian in the whole damn bunch. I keep wanting to go to Amazon.com, just so that I can go to the board games section and send them a Clue.

This seems to be their mindset, though. No matter WHAT happens, blame somebody else. America is attacked? Don't blame Islamofascists; blame Dubya's conspiratorial genius. Hurricanes hit New Orleans? Don't blame the weather; blame Dubya and his magical hurricane generator. Soufflé didn't rise? Lordy, that Dubya's just causing problems all over the place, ain't he?

The truth is, we saw the terrible truth that day almost 1,800 days ago. The MANY scientific, forensic and political studies done since then have shown who was responsible -- Islamofascists bent on our destruction. It was not Dubya, not the government, and not some shadowy group of "businessmen" served by a Cigarette-Smoking Man.

So, for all of you political axe-grinders out there, drop this whole 9/11 conspiracy crap, will you? It detracts from the war effort, it emboldens our enemies, and it prevents you from sneaking into Area 51 to look for reverse-engineered alien technology or trying to find Elvis. You know, the important stuff.

About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest. Doc receives e-mail at docfarmer9999@yahoo.co.uk.

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BuffaloJack · Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 4:39 pm Post subject:

Spot on again Doc.
Keep up the good work.
Jack
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dusty · Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 7:23 pm Post subject:

Hahaha. Loved it Doc.

I sure hope polls shoeing the figure of 1/3 the country believing this crap is wrong.
It is really scary to think that fully 1/3 of the people in this country are stark raving mad.

Dusty
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Doc Farmer · Posted: Fri Aug 18, 2006 5:08 am Post subject:

shawa · CNO Joined: 03 Sep 2004 Posts: 2004

You know Doc, it's one thing when lunatic kooks go around spouting this bunk, but it's pretty amazing when the University of Wisconsin allows it to be taught to gullible young minds!!

NortonPete · PO2 Joined: 13 Aug 2004 Posts: 385

Doc,
I well written piece. By keeping it humorous, I read through the entire
essay without having my head explode.

I know people who believe we didn't land on the Moon.
I'm convinced it some form of mental illness as these people have
degrees in computer science. I ask them how did we fake the radio
transmissions which came back from the Moon and could have been
easily picked up by many other countries thus identifying their source
location. I get more wild theories about a global conspiracy.

Its a form of mental illness.

As to the polls well thats another area that often gets me going.
Have you or anyone you know of been polled?

I've read they call the same people for each poll.
I can't reach 90% of the people I call because they are either working or doing something.
Who is sitting by their phone waiting to be part of a poll?

Thanks for putting something together that was fun to read.

Me#1You#10 · Site Admin Joined: 06 May 2004 Posts: 6503

fortdixlover · Last edited by fortdixlover on Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:29 pm; edited 1 time in total

fortdixlover · Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:25 pm Post subject:

So, where is the truth? Someone once said that the truth is usually found in the middle of two sides.

Not when one side is loonie tune.

The truth is not found between the opinions that "the earth is round" and "the earth is flat."

The above quotation can be critiqued thusly (from same Scott Adams page):

Substituting Famous Quotes for Common Sense
Example: Remember, "All good things come to those who wait." So don't bother looking for a job.

-- FDL
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NortonPete · PO2 Joined: 13 Aug 2004 Posts: 385

dusty · Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:43 pm Post subject:

fortdixlover wrote:

Doc Farmer · Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:15 pm Post subject:

Snipe · Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:33 pm Post subject:

George F. Thompson · Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:25 pm Post subject: Conspiracy

Would it not be more appropriate to say at least 333 people polled believe there was a government conspiracy. Where was the poll conducted, who conducted the poll? I believe it was Mark Twain who said there were lies, damned lies and statisistics." I just find it hard to believe that 33% of ALL American's believe there was a conspiracy. Unless of course the poll was conducted by Dan Rather. Just goes to show you how gullible the MSM thinks we are, based on a poll. 100% of the people polled in the Thompson family believe the attacks that occured on 9-11-2001 were conducted by Islamofacists. Which poll is more accurate

George F. Thompson