SwiftVets.com

[GenrXr]

Missing My Father

This Christmas will be spent without my father who passed away this past January. He was a great man in so many ways, it is impossible to list them, but thought a couple of things could be said as well as a personal and endearing reflection. He was a family man who did his best. He remained married for 40 years and raised six children. Along the way, he anonymously gave to charity in prosperous and struggling times. Extended family knew they could ask him for money and he would often give it, always without condition. He said “there is no such thing as lending unless you are a bank. It is nice if they repay, but never expect it.” He had few friends, but the ones he had were true. He understood the meaning of friendship better than most. He was a hard charging man who lived life to the fullest, yet always had the patience to understand the moment. He had a presence few possess and it was never abused. He was a noble and good man. He was smarter than any intellectual, yet practical and of action. The very traits intellectuals lack and cause them such great frustration. He was never frustrated. He was at peace.

One of his great loves was music and his taste was varied, yet preferred the old crooners, such as Cole, Sinatra, Williams, Anka, Damone and the like. I would often try to impress my father by introducing him to modern popular music, but nothing ever seemed to be to his liking. He would usually reply, “That isn’t Sinatra.” About a year and a half ago, while studying Russian culture, I came across a folk song written in 1954. Upon hearing the song and reading the lyrics, there was no doubt my romantic father would love this song. It had a great melody and timeless meaning. So off it went by email to my father, then the next day, asked what he thought. His reply, “that sure isn’t Sinatra.” He then proceeded to discuss work and anything and everything, but the song.

It was a somewhat sad moment and I couldn’t help but feel how difficult it was to please him. I really wanted to impress my father as a younger man, but in his dying year, it was more about making him happy and this song was probably my last attempt with music, one of his great joys. After about two weeks he answered my phone call and in the background could hear the song playing. Excitedly, I said “dad you are playing the song”, he replied, “Yes, it is beginning to grow on me.” My immediate thought was if the song is growing on him then he has been listening to it and must really like it. He was a proud man, too proud to tell me he really loved it after earlier saying “it was no Sinatra”, but over the next few months while calling it could be heard from time to time. Later while present and calling on other family he would tell them, “let me play this song for you” and played it, he would. This was one of the happiest moments of sharing with my father during his dying days.

Dad, I am going to share the song with others today in remembrance of you. I will always love you and miss you dearly.

Your son,
Darrell

The song is called Evening in Moscow, Moscow Nights or Midnight in Moscow. My favorite version and the one shared with my Father is performed by Italian singer Toto Cutungno Russian singer Надежда Кадышева.

Listen to the song here.

Lyrics to the song.

Not even a whisper is to be heard in the garden,
Everything has calmed down until dawn.
If you only knew how dear they are to me,
The evenings near Moscow!

The river is moving and (sometimes) not,
All made of the moons silver.
A song sounds and is not to be heard
In those quiet evenings.

Why do you, darling, look at me from the side,
Bending your head so low?
It is not easy to tell
All the things that are in my heart.

And dawn is getting more and more visible.
So, please, be so kind:
You, also, don´t forget
These summer evenings near Moscow.
_________________
"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy

[LewWaters]

Sounds like you had a great Dad.

Thanks for sharing your memories. Cherish those memories.
_________________
Clark County Conservative

[Me#1You#10]

genrXr...

My condolences on the loss of your Dad.

Perhaps you're unaware, but "Midnight In Moscow" made it to the top of the pop charts sometime, as I recall, in the early 60's. Here's a link to a .wav rendition of that tune, though I'm unsure that this is the version that climbed the charts way back when.

That notwithstanding, your gift of music to your dad was a touching reminder of the myriad of small moments that make life worth living. Thanks for taking the time to share it here.

[TEWSPilot]

GenrXr, not to take anything away from your dad, but you described me (and my father) in many ways, and I am 62. I still have my Bing Crosby and other great singers on 78 rpm albums. Much of what passes for "music" today is little more than "white noise" and fit only for chasing away rodents. I hope you share your father's love of great music. The song you shared with him is a good one, and I'm happy for both of you that he finally grew to enjoy it. I didn't enjoy my first bite of a dill pickle, but ... well, you get the idea.

You and I also share similarities; we loved our fathers, and they were hard to please, often hard on the outside, but soft on the inside and full of love -- REAL love. During the last semester of my senior year in college, my dying father and I would sit on the front porch and talk about his life and dreams and my future. I was the first of his kids (though not the oldest) to graduate from college -- talk about pressure to pass finals! He died 5 days after I graduated and received my commission as a 2nd Lt in the USAF. Some forty years later, I can close my eyes and relive those times. My wife and I have also been married over 40 years, and I hope I can measure up to my father -- and yours. May I offer a poem that comforted me during such times as you are experiencing, including the death of my father-in-law, who was also like our fathers and was a second father to me until his death. He quit High School to enlist in the Navy and served on destroyers during WWII until the end of the war. These men truly were "the greatest generation."

Psalm 116:15 tells us, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."

When I am gone, release me and let me go.
I have so many things to see, and so,
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears.
Be happy that we had so many beautiful years.

I give to you my love.
You can only guess how much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love that you have shown,
But now it's time I travel on alone.

So grieve for me a while if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It's only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on,
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you cannot see nor touch me, I'll be near.
And if you listen with your heart,
You'll hear my love around you soft and clear.

And then when You must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile and say, "Welcome Home!"

[USAFE5]

I used to watch a very old soap opera (Dark Shadows) and on the album they put out in 1969 - which I still play every halloween - there is a spoken poem done by Jonathan Frid who played the vampire Barnabas Collins.

When I am Dead
When I am dead my dearest
Sing no sad songs for me
Plant thou no roses at my head
nor shady cypress tree
Be the green grass above me
with showers and dew drops wet

I shall not feel the shadows
I shall not feel the rain
I shall not hear the nightinggale sing on as if in pain
and dreaming throughout the twiighlight that doth not rise nor set
Happily I may remember and happily may forget


There is more I just don't recall it right now. I may have to go dig out the album and listen again.
_________________
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I’m here to help." Ronald Reagan

[GenrXr]

Touching responses. Thank you.
_________________
"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy