SwiftVets.com

[NavyBrat]

These were Hilarious and made to order for the Geedunk section:

I hope Rightnation.us doesn't mind, as I bring some of their best wit here for us to enjoy. This is a partial thread started by someone called Organic Painc. He might even be a member here!

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I will attempt to bring some humor to my day by starting this thread. I propose:

Ask a hypothetical question for Kerry and any answer you create, pretending to be Kerry, must have the term, "when I was in Viet Nam."

Q: Mr. Kerry, Your economic plan included rolling back the Bush tax cuts for those making over $200,000 per year. How will this improve the economy?

A: "When I was in Viet Nam I knew the value of fairness and equity. When one sailor had 5 clips for his M-16 and another only had 3 clips for his M-16, that one sailor with 5 clips would give away his 1 clip so they would each have 4 clips"


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Q: Senator Kerry, what will you do to make healthcare more affordable for small businesses?

A: Chestnuts. I remember roasting chestnuts on Christmas Eve 1968, it was over an open fire. That fire burned me. Burned me real bad as if it was the Khmer Rouge attacking me. In fact, a Khmer Rouge soldier threw a chestnut at me. Left a big mark on my forehead. For that, I was awarded 2 purple hearts. Wait.. What was the question again?

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Q: Pres ...uh, Senator Kerry, how do you feel about mandating better fuel economy?

A: That will be an integeral part of my administration. Back when I was in Viet Nam we really could have used that better fuel economy. If we had had it then I could have gotten more than 5 stinking miles inside Cambodia back in '67. '68 and '69. ... What? Of course I was there in '67 too, but those records are still classified as 'Top Secret' so you will have to take my word on it.


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Q. Senator Kerry how would you go about changing health care in the United States so that it would be accessible to everyone.

A. Well, when I was in Vietnam, I thought the medical care was the best that could be had. They were able to fix me up with band-aids after I had been mortally wounded with superficial injuries three separate times under extreme, heavy fire from all locations including the sky! And I didn't even have to spend any time overnight in the sick bay! Did I mention I received 3 purple hearts for my service?

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Q: Senator Kerry, can you explain why you were awarded 3 Purple Hearts with such superficial wounds?

A: Well, first of all, that happened in Viet Nam. Secondly, being a blue blood my single drop of blood is the equivalent of about 2 pints of your blood. So you can see that statistically I was wounded quite badly.

Q: What about your recollection of Cambodia...Christmas 1968?

A: Well, I got to Cambodia thru Viet Nam. I was stationed in Viet Nam during the war. The Christmas of '68 has been seared into my memory. Little VC running everywhere....VC was our dog. I was hoping to not see any fire fights in Viet Nam, so I named our dog VC so I can say that I saw VC on a daily basis. Any way I digress. Yes, Cambodia at Christmas time is lovely.

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Mr. Kerry - When I was a hero in Viet Nam on the Swift Boats we only had 50 calibre guns to shoot people with .(from 1971 congressional hearings )

Question : What the hell are you carrying in those "Great White Hero" pictures you posed for? Looks like an M-16 to me . That and a couple of M-60's were standard issue on the boats I rode on .
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Laura~