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Comforting Little Johnny [John Kerry Complaining Over Swift Boat Ads]


By Lee Zelhart
Aug 24, 2004

The distraught nannie race toward the nursery. She picked up the quivering sobbing mass off the floor and tried to render comfort without any let up of the tears. She was at her wits end.Then a thought came to her. The Mistress of the house was out for the night. No place to get ahold of HER. She might be in Paris, Rome, or Las Vegas.At a Hollywood premiere, or a Broadway play. But there was one number on the speed dial which always worked.

The phone rang a moment and finally someone answered. She explained the problem and waited a minute, or two while the desired person was placed on the line. She put the phone on speaker.

Voice: What's the matter Johnny? Talk to old Unca Bill.

Johnny: That mean old Georgie don't play nice. His friends called me names and he wouldn't make 'em stop.

Voice: There there, don't cry Buddy. Unca Bill's gonna make it alright. Don't worry your little head about it. Unca Bill's had dealings with Georgies old man and I know how to deal with Georgie. It's gonna be okay, Bubba.

Johnny: Really, Unca Bill?

Voice: Really, really. Everythings gonna be fine.

Johnny: (quits crying)Okay, Unca Bill. I'll be fine now.

Voice: Okay, Johnny. Talk to ya later, bye Bubba.

Johnny: Ga'bye, Unca Bill.

The nanny hangs up the phone.

A hand hangs up on the other side. A sour faced woman looks over to the man who had just hung up.

Woman: Who was that Bill?

Man: It's okay, Hillary, that was just John Kerry complaining about Bush and the Swift Boat Guys, again. Man am I glad I never served over there.

Hillary: I hope he doesn't get elected. I wouldn't want to listen to that every night for four years. I gotta have my beaty sleep.

Bill: (Man) Yeah! er...yeah don't worry dear, I don't think we have anything to worry about. Little Johnny's dead meat.

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About the author: Lee Zelhart, your friendly neighborhood card carrying member of the VRWC (Vast Right Wing Conspiracy) fights for Truth, Justice and the chance of following in the footsteps of his hero, the great Maha Rushie, or El Rushbo as he is known to his friends. (Okay, Rush Limbaugh for those of you in Rio Linda and W. Palm Beach Fl.)

[cjg]

Your story was great, a person can see this happening very clearly
when they are not laughing at your precious Johnny!

I am wondering who tucks him into bed at night? He probably has
Thereza do it since she is such a homebody!
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