SwiftVets.com

[Marino]

Clinton had his quadruple Bypass surgery and probably won't be on the campaign trail that much. Though John Edwards made 39 million dollars in less than a ten year period and seemingly retired from suing doctors he has offered to represent Clinton in a law suit against the doctors who treated him for the bypass surgery.

Clinton has no damages (causation) as yet and Clinton didn't think there was anything done poorly in his treatment and expressed that to Edwards. This didn't waiver Edwards in his endeavor to file the lawsuit and stated, "Hey Bill! I am good at inventing and making up accusations. Let me see what I can do."

With another added surprise, Senator Kerry has been arranging a purple heart for Clinton for suffering through the bypass surgery. Clinton was confused with Kerry's efforts to get him a purple heart and asked how could he possibly deserve the award. Kerry replied, "If I am not mistaken I do believe you were bombarded with French fries by some upset Muslims voicing dissention during your term Bill." Kerry added, "I am sure I saw a couple of those fries get tossed down your throat by accident, I am sure they contributed to your heart disease. I do believe you deserve some sort of medal, maybe even two by my standards, let me see what I can do."

The biggest surprise of all the well-wishers for Bill Clinton came from Osama Bin Laden. What indeed a surprise it was to get a call right from the number one terrorist in the world. Osama was reported to have said, "Bill we've got to get you well and back out there pushing to get Kerry elected. I can't handle that Bush family any longer. I need some breathing room, and I am sure to get that with Kerry in office." Osama went on and asked Bill, "say Bill, while I have you on the phone, what do you think would do more over-all damage if it were blown up?"

If we had Kerry in office instead we would have a more sensitive approach to dealing with terrorists. Kerry has noted the preoccupation of the terrorists with the color red. Kerry has suggested that the USA buy ten billion dollars worth of ketchup and give it to the Terrorist cells around the world. Kerry has assured those doubtful he has really reliable psychiatric resources on this matter. According to Kerry, these resources claim the whole bloodshed preoccupation with the terrorists is their innermost desire to be covered completely with ketchup. Kerry is sure this will appease the terrorist’s innermost feelings of discontent and bring them to a peaceful coexistence.

Rumor has it that Ted Kennedy has been buying up a lot of stock in the Heinz Ketchup Corporation and is already hot on the road rallying support for Kerry's recent strategy for world peace.