SwiftVets.com

truthseeker · Seaman Recruit Joined: 06 Aug 2004 Posts: 34

From the very interesting Iowahawk blog. In response to a plea for a Reaganesque catchphrase for the Kerry campaign.

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2004/09/notes_and_aside.html

PAGING DARREN STEVENS

Famous brooding internet intellectual Joshua Micah Fauntleroy Mellencamp Heinz-Marshall (apologies to Ace) has put his finger on the root of John Kerry's electoral dysfunction -- inadequate slogans! -- and solicits suggestions. We aim to please, Josh.

I Will Keep Our Enemies Guessing, Too
Projecting American Strength Through Intricately Complex Nuance

The Thinking Man's Self-Confessed War Criminal

Vote For Me or My Running Mate Will Sue

Those Atrocity Stories? Dude, I Was Just Shitting You

I Will Do For You the Many Wonderous Things I Have Done For Massachusetts

Fear Not, America, I Have Deigned to Lead You

I Will Never Recuse My UN Ambassador from the Vote to Ask for a Permission Slip to Defend This Country

The Next Time America is Attacked, I Promise To Open Up a Carafe of Whupass

Post-Emptive Leadership For A Safer World

I Have Three Words For George Bush -- Bring It On

I Have Five More Words For George Bush -- Call Off Your On-Bringers

Restoring America's Seat At The Global Popular Table

Come Home Again, America... No Wait, Stay There Again

There Once Was A Man From Nantucket, If You Get My Drift

Shaggin' Billionaire Bag Ladies So You Don't Have To

Some Look at Things As They Are And Say, 'Why?' Others Look at Things As They Are Not And Say, 'Why Not?', And I Suppose A Few Might Look at Things As They Are Not, And Say 'Why?', and Vice-Versa, and So Forth, And One Might Be Tempted To Look at These People Looking at Things And Ask 'Who?' But This Would Not Be Constructive, Because The Important Thing To Realize Is That Some People Like To Look At Things, And This Is Precisely My Point

sdonions · PO3 Joined: 21 Jul 2004 Posts: 294

ROFLMAO

I like Shaggin' Billionaire Bag Ladies So You Don't Have To

azpatriot · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:44 pm Post subject:

TOO FUNNY!
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Proud to be an American! and member of the PAJAMAHADEEN Cool

FedEx Kinko's: When it absolutely, positively has to be forged overnight Shocked

eXcel · Seaman Joined: 23 Aug 2004 Posts: 174

Navy_Navy_Navy · Admin Joined: 07 May 2004 Posts: 5777

Some of these are really GREAT!!!

This one:

Steve Z · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 12:51 am Post subject: Kerry Slogans Continued

I make money the old fashioned way. I marry it.

I voted to serve in South Vietnam before I voted to serve North Vietnam.

George Bush didn't have a plan for Iraq. I'll tell you mine when I'm elected.

I am the only Swift Boat veteran who tells the truth.

I am a patriot, and only unpatriotic people criticize me.

We didn't lose the war in South Vietnam, they bravely sailed their Swift Boats to California.

Give our troops body armor--just don't pay for it.

The CIA misled you about Iraq. They misled me, but that doesn't count.

We need French allies to fight in Iraq, not just window dressing.

I love our soldiers--but their weapons can get people killed.

I released my Navy records, before I didn't release them.

The National Guard is for cowards. I will sign a bill to make hurricanes illegal.

If Osama bin Laden attacks us when I'm President, the Vice President will sue him!

Greenpeace is at the door, Honey, hide your SUV!

I'm a good Catholic, but John Paul II is wrong.

If George Bush says what I say, he is wrong, because I said it first!

I didn't fall off my snowboard because you didn't give me a Purple Heart.

If I'm not a hero, you're a liar.

Bring it on, but no Republicans allowed.

George Bush cut taxes for the rich! People can make 40 grand without getting taxed!

It's irresponsible to vote against funding the war, except when I vote.

My health-care plan will cure everything and we'll reduce the deficits. Teresa will pay for it.

It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a soldier to raze a village.

I crawl on my belly to hunt deer. The deer are cowards and run away!

Rice in the butt gives me purple farts.
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The traitor will crater!

The Balloon Artist · PO3 Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 262 Location: Texas

I still don't like rice crispies

Kerry the one canidate that 100% of Americans can agree with 50% of the time

Vote Kerry/Whatshisname

Kerry, he's not Bush

Lt Kerry's Purple Heart Club Band
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What about John Kerry's four months in Vietnam qualify him to be president?
Al Gore was there for five.

Tex · Seaman Apprentice Joined: 16 Sep 2004 Posts: 84

I actually did fight for the USA - before I fought against it.

HOV1 · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:42 am Post subject:

I love Theresa because I love a little ketchup in my rice... if ya know what I mean Wink

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USN 78-84 STS1(SS) USS George C. Marshall SSBN 654(G)

HOV1

spudhorse · Ensign Joined: 21 Aug 2004 Posts: 52

Not quite in the same genre, but I thought this thread would be interested in the new CBS series:

Next week marks the premiere of the new CBS crime drama series "CSI: Abilene," doing weekly battle with "Bush's Law & Order." CBS boss Leslie Moonves believes that in "CSI: Abilene" he's finally found a weapon to neutralize "Law & Order." But he carefully avoids predicting a total triumph for his show.

The strength of "Law & Order" and two spinoffs --- "Law & Order: 60 Minutes Criminal Intent" and "Law & Order: Swift Boat Veterans for Truth" --- have given the Bush campaign a powerful boost, and that's particularly important now that the Democrats find themselves without comedy hits like "Bill's Friends" and "Tom Daschle." For midseason, the spinoff, "Law & Order: Kerry's Trial by Jury" is almost certain to be a major hit.

The Balloon Artist · PO3 Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 262 Location: Texas

If you don't like our positions,............wait

Millions and millions of positions served.
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What about John Kerry's four months in Vietnam qualify him to be president?
Al Gore was there for five.

dcornutt · PO3 Joined: 26 Aug 2004 Posts: 267 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"A while back, I was for this, and I stand by that. But, today is a different day, and I'm still for it. That's why I'm against it. But our opponents just don't understand the issues like I do. That's why I voted for it. You see, when you understand the issues like I do, you understand just how wrong they are. I'm glad to have supported what I voted against. That's why I'd make a better president. Because I understand the complexity of these issues.

People try to say it's all black and white, and it is. But, that's why it's gray. Black and white makes gray. So,when you say, Mr Kerry, how could you be for this when you are also against it...I understand perfecly...unlike my opponent".

Thank you, And I'm glad I had this opportunity to clarify my position on this."

arkadyfolkner · PO3 Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 271

Boredom is On The Way

Kimmymac · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 5:39 am Post subject:

ROFLMBO!! That is the funniest stuff I have seen in a long time, at least all gathered together under one roof. Everyone, you are the best! Of the original post, I liked:

I Have Three Words For George Bush -- Bring It On

I Have Five More Words For George Bush -- Call Off Your On-Bringers

Ha ha hahahaha... I think "on-bringers" is hyphenated and so it should have been 4 words.....ha hahahaha

"I won't have my patriotism attacked when I'm trying to use it to get votes!"

And: Shaggin' billionaire bag ladies, so you don't have to....ha ha haaha hee hee, oh, mannnn, funny.

SandiM · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 5:45 am Post subject:

Wake me up when it's over.
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Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. (Winston Churchill)