SwiftVets.com

[Marino]

Yes indeed, it was one of those moments you just wish you were anyone else instead of yourself. That was what Kerry admitted later to the Kerry spinsters trying to figure out how they can turn this around and forego all the unpleasant aftershocks to the entire episode. After shocks indeed!!
As it turned out, Kerry had been at the Vegetarian's United Fund gathering where they actually mustered together $390,000 for the Kerry campaign. In return, Kerry gave a riviting performance supporting all the members present for their honorable coherence to a dietary code that he himself has adhered to for many years of his life.
What was later found to be the case.....there were two Bush supporters in this vegetarian organization. They piled onto Kerry's lunch platter lots and lots of broccoli and cauliflower.
It was quite a tune Kerry started while he was still standing at the podium adressing the members. Reeappp! came one long fart after another. Kerry then let loose several smaller ones...Just about everything Kerry was trying to do to hold more farts from charging the muted room was visible on Kerry's face in every wrinkle.
It was later theorized by a Plastic Surgeon, storing gaseous odors in the rectal vault reverses the action of Botox injections to the face. Another phenomenon also reported during these tense moments when kerry finally succeeded in squeezing his buttock cheeks hard enough to hold back more farts, nearly everyone in the room swears that Kerry forehead seemed to grow taller and taller and taller. If anyone remembers the Laurel and Hardy slapstick duet, Kerry's forehead was reminiscent of Stanley's famous tall forehead.
Kerry quickly and tactfully finished his speech and whispered to his PR person the following, "get me out of here quick, before my head explodes."
Kerry was escorted quickly from the room. A cheer for kerry was heard from the crowd. Those in the back were also clapping for their favorite candidate. The members seated up toward Kerry's podium were still flailing their snow white cotton napkins, trying in vain to fan away the Kerry fumes.
The two Bush supporters, also Swifties, having successfully planted the extra portions onto Kerry's platter came out onto the stage area wearing old military gas masks, taking bows for their devilish prank.
The Kerry team successfully got Kerry out of the room with no more embarassing moments, and all scooted into a tight elevator. Most still with misty eyes in recounting the terror, claim they heard the loudest fart in their lives. There was, oddly enough, a reported earthquake in this quiet swing state at near abouts the same time Kerry was in this elevator.
There were two people who passed out in the elevator but this was not apparent until the door opened and the people fled, screeming as if Godzilla was close behind.
There were people in the hallway when the elevator opened and unfortunately ...very unfortunately....one was smoking at the time, though a non-smoking area. The dark ominous fume overtook him before he knew what happened. A huge flame consumed him in an instant. Three elevator passengers are still hospitalized and four may be requiring psych therapy for an extended period of time.
The Kerry spinsters are in a tailspin. Further arrangements for appearances and talks are being arranged on a single floor building only. Though unwilling to admit the purpose for their efforts, there appears to be an ernest effort by the Kerry team to find those with allergies and stuffy noses to fill the vacated places on the campaign trail team.

[sdonions]

Note to self....

reading posts in Geedunk while drinking coffee is bad for both the keyboard and monitor.

That one of the funniest things I have read in a LOOONG while. Thanks

[Marino]

glad you liked it.....

[CTW]

Thanks I really needed that this morning!
Can someone (everybody no doubt) explain the GMT date and time
Have a beautiful day all. CTW

Never Ever Kerry

[GoophyDog]

[Detective]

thanks,now I have to clean the pepsi that shot out from my nose while reading this. I'm sending you a cleaning bill
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U.S. CODE, Hostile Nations Act TITLE 50 CHAPTER 40 Sec. 2301. Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Sudan, Syria.(All of them support Terrorism)
All the above Officially come out in support of John Kerry for President of the USA.