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Bob51
Seaman
Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 156
Location: Belfast
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 Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 5:11 am Post subject: Re: I need to get married |
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| GenrXr wrote: | | Looking for a good woman. All that matters to me is you are not a blonde and are guided by principle. |
GenrXr, Good luck on your search. Sounds like U.S. men are somewhat disillusioned with marriage so you might look further afield. Most women in Asia will meet your "not a blonde" requirement. Filipinas are generally considered loyal, happy by nature, and (given the characteristics of Filipino men) strongly prefer foreigners, particularly Americans. They tend to be very devout Christians which is an issue for some.
While considering the diverse advice given by your friends here, there is another lady who needs support at the moment. Very much guided by principle and needs all the help she can get.
See: http://www.mukhtarmai.com/Mai'sTragedy.htm
I'd like to see some veterans visit this lady's village and have a little chat with her neighbours....
Bob51 |
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SBD
Admiral
Joined: 19 Aug 2004
Posts: 1022
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| Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 6:04 am Post subject: |
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| Nutso wrote: | | I definitely do not fit in with this crowd, happily married going on 28 yrs. It seems that a succesful marriage is an unpopular thing nowdays. Its the disposable society we live in, got a problem - don't fix it - get a new model. |
Congratulations and continued happiness to you both.
My parents will have their 47th in May. As far as the disposable society we live in, this is true, but not always the case. I think what makes some of us cynical about marriage is what we have observed from others that have gone through divorce.
My cousin was happily married, so we thought. He is a stand up guy who works hard and was devoted to his wife and kids. His wife and mother-in-law, on the other hand, had their own intentions. After 12 years of marriage, my cousin was sitting on the couch when the doorbell rang and he was informed that his house was being forclosed on. He thought it was a mistake since he had given his wife his pay checks every month that more then covered the bills. It turns out, that she had not paid the Mortgage for over six months and instead turned the garage into a mini Toy's R Us. Shortly thereafter, he collasped and ended up in the hospital. The doctors concluded that he had MS after about 3 weeks of testing. He had to learn how to walk, talk, and how to do his job all over again. Once he recovered, he filed for divorce. Upon further investigation, he learned that his wife and mother in law had credit cards in his name going to a PO Box and were writing bad checks to everyone in town friom a 10 year old closed account. At one point she called the police and claimed my cousin had beat her. The cops arrested him, even though he was at work at the time she says he assaulted her. Charges were dropped when customers and fellow workers at his restaurant wrote the District Attorney's office. It took him 5 years to divorce her. They have 4 children, all girls that had to suffer through all of this with them. One interesting thing to note is that my cousin's doctors can no longer find any trace of MS and have concluded he was misdiagnosed but have no idea what caused his collapse. If you ask me, I think she tried to kill him!!
SBD |
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PhantomSgt
Vice Admiral
Joined: 10 Sep 2004
Posts: 972
Location: GUAM, USA
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| Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:35 am Post subject: |
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Listen to Nancy Reagan GenrXr and "Just Say NO!"
Remember the famous commercial with the egg and then the egg frying in the pan? This is your brain, this is your brain after marriage!
_________________
Retired AF E-8
Independent that leans right of center. |
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GenrXr
Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
Joined: 05 Aug 2004
Posts: 1720
Location: Houston
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| Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:00 am Post subject: |
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| SBD wrote: | | Nutso wrote: | | I definitely do not fit in with this crowd, happily married going on 28 yrs. It seems that a succesful marriage is an unpopular thing nowdays. Its the disposable society we live in, got a problem - don't fix it - get a new model. |
Congratulations and continued happiness to you both.
My parents will have their 47th in May. As far as the disposable society we live in, this is true, but not always the case. I think what makes some of us cynical about marriage is what we have observed from others that have gone through divorce.
My cousin was happily married, so we thought. He is a stand up guy who works hard and was devoted to his wife and kids. His wife and mother-in-law, on the other hand, had their own intentions. After 12 years of marriage, my cousin was sitting on the couch when the doorbell rang and he was informed that his house was being forclosed on. He thought it was a mistake since he had given his wife his pay checks every month that more then covered the bills. It turns out, that she had not paid the Mortgage for over six months and instead turned the garage into a mini Toy's R Us. Shortly thereafter, he collasped and ended up in the hospital. The doctors concluded that he had MS after about 3 weeks of testing. He had to learn how to walk, talk, and how to do his job all over again. Once he recovered, he filed for divorce. Upon further investigation, he learned that his wife and mother in law had credit cards in his name going to a PO Box and were writing bad checks to everyone in town friom a 10 year old closed account. At one point she called the police and claimed my cousin had beat her. The cops arrested him, even though he was at work at the time she says he assaulted her. Charges were dropped when customers and fellow workers at his restaurant wrote the District Attorney's office. It took him 5 years to divorce her. They have 4 children, all girls that had to suffer through all of this with them. One interesting thing to note is that my cousin's doctors can no longer find any trace of MS and have concluded he was misdiagnosed but have no idea what caused his collapse. If you ask me, I think she tried to kill him!!
SBD |
Unfortunately, your cousin married a grifter. Hope he is doing well.
_________________
"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy |
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blue9t3
Admiral
Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 1246
Location: oregon
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| Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2005 5:11 pm Post subject: |
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Gen'r---get a cat! or maybe a french poodle and name it kerry. you wont need a pre-nup! 
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DLI78
PO3
Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 273
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| Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 7:02 am Post subject: |
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SBD, I hope your cousin recovers and is able to move on. What a nightmare.
GenrXr, my two cents is if you decide on a starter marriage wait at least five years before breeding. Get in all the practise you can, but don't make any people puppies for awhile.
My first marriage blew up at one year (she got a PCS to the east, I got one to the west, and never the twain shall meet), my second blew up at five years. No kids from either. Sign the paper, shake hands, walk away and forget about it.
My third wife and I have been married 19 years now, and we still hold hands sometimes.
It is a struggle to make it work, and you can never put it on autopilot. She is going to need some attention and positive feedback on a regular basis. You have to compromise. Sometimes you "win" and sometimes she does when you make your decisions on how to live, where to live, and so on. You have to see her as a partner with equal voting rights.
If you can't picture her as your new best friend then forget it. If you can handle dealing with her mother, life will be better. Remember, if it works out as planned you will be with her when she gets her first set of false teeth. Can you handle that picture? Imagine her with an extra 60 pounds and a less-appealing figure. Can your relationship look beyond that? Will she still find you attractive when you can no longer see your feet?
Personally, I'd suggest staying away from somebody who is overly vain or very impatient. Number two was, and my radar twitched at that. But lust is blind, as they say.
A cat is a good alternative. You can teach it to be very affectionate as a kitten and it will keep you company briefly every day. It will also like being alone for extended periods. It will die after ten or twelve years, about the time you get really tired of it.
I'd avoid the French poodle named Kerry. You'd be tempted to abuse it. Bad for your blood pressure, bad for the dog. Besides, if you buy one somebody will be tempted to breed another. Do we really need more French poodles?
_________________
DLI 78
Army Linguist
1978-1986 |
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GenrXr
Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
Joined: 05 Aug 2004
Posts: 1720
Location: Houston
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| Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 8:12 am Post subject: |
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| Lotsa_Static wrote: | SBD, I hope your cousin recovers and is able to move on. What a nightmare.
GenrXr, my two cents is if you decide on a starter marriage wait at least five years before breeding. Get in all the practise you can, but don't make any people puppies for awhile.
My first marriage blew up at one year (she got a PCS to the east, I got one to the west, and never the twain shall meet), my second blew up at five years. No kids from either. Sign the paper, shake hands, walk away and forget about it.
My third wife and I have been married 19 years now, and we still hold hands sometimes.
It is a struggle to make it work, and you can never put it on autopilot. She is going to need some attention and positive feedback on a regular basis. You have to compromise. Sometimes you "win" and sometimes she does when you make your decisions on how to live, where to live, and so on. You have to see her as a partner with equal voting rights.
If you can't picture her as your new best friend then forget it. If you can handle dealing with her mother, life will be better. Remember, if it works out as planned you will be with her when she gets her first set of false teeth. Can you handle that picture? Imagine her with an extra 60 pounds and a less-appealing figure. Can your relationship look beyond that? Will she still find you attractive when you can no longer see your feet?
Personally, I'd suggest staying away from somebody who is overly vain or very impatient. Number two was, and my radar twitched at that. But lust is blind, as they say.
A cat is a good alternative. You can teach it to be very affectionate as a kitten and it will keep you company briefly every day. It will also like being alone for extended periods. It will die after ten or twelve years, about the time you get really tired of it.
I'd avoid the French poodle named Kerry. You'd be tempted to abuse it. Bad for your blood pressure, bad for the dog. Besides, if you buy one somebody will be tempted to breed another. Do we really need more French poodles? |
That is great advice Lotsa_Static and appreciate it. I agree with you whole heartily that 'people puppies' should not be produced unless the signifigance of such creation is understood, but then again I would not marry unless that signifigance was understood prior to marriage and thus the road block. People are not taught today that marriage and creation is about serving, rather we are conditioned to think it is about self satisfaction leading to a small farming pool of good candidates.
Your comment of imagining a woman 60 lbs over weight got me thinking of a woman I loved and wished to serve when I was 25. I told her I could imagine her old and wrinkled and her beauty had not changed in my eyes. She responded to me how disgusting of a thought. Her shallowness was indeed sad.
The truth is I will end up marrying a woman who appreciates the American dream and the spirit of our great country. What is sad is I will have to go south of America or overseas to find someone who still understands our greatness and doesn't take it for granted.
A person who understands that to love is to serve and not the psycho babble of the communist propogandist who would lead us to believe that working hard to serve those you love as opposed to the state is evil.
I have always found it very telling that conservatives take their parents into their homes when they are dying and liberals put them in nursing homes.
_________________
"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy |
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kimberly
PO2
Joined: 03 Sep 2004
Posts: 377
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| Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 10:36 am Post subject: |
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[quote="GenrXr
What is sad is I will have to go south of America or overseas to find someone who still understands our greatness and doesn't take it for granted.
[/quote]
I've gotten a 'kick' out of reading and following this thread and getting a chuckle at the men's perspective, but wow, I found my self both saddened and disturbed by this comment. It sounds like you are implying that the only women in America who hold this quality are already married or non-existent? That there are no single women who 'still understand the greatness of our Country'? Perhaps you just have a preference for 'other than American' women. |
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USS Endicott
Seaman Recruit
Joined: 24 Sep 2004
Posts: 46
Location: California
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| Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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I like to think that you guys are kidding about marriage, but I'm not sure that is the case. GenrXr, I wouldn't think hair color was the important factor in a relationship, seeing as how hair can be dyed or can fall out. Sounds like you dislike American women and I’m just curious of why. I know plenty of American women who believe in this country and love it. In fact, the tv showed some of these women yesterday as they either stepped off the transport plane after a year serving in Germany or as they waited on the tarmac for their sons, brothers, husbands to step off the plane. My mother, aunts, sisters, cousins, and nieces all love this great country of ours.
Marriage is not a Cinderella story with happy ever after, it is love, commitment, compromise, and a lot of work. My parents have been married 50 years. Were they blissfully happy for those 50 years, no. There were quarrels and disagreements and money problems, yet they always worked through the problems. They also enjoy life, have a sense of humor, and have been blessed with a friendship that has lasted 50 years. My parents have lived through trying times and have experienced personal setbacks and yet they still enjoy life and each other. They are the cornerstone of who I am and I am so thankful for them and for the work they put into their marriage.
I realize that there are times when a marriage doesn't work out and that there are certainly good reasons for divorce. Thankfully, women in an abusive situation can now divorce and not get branded with the big D. Yet, many of the young people I know who have divorced seemed to have married for looks and not substance and opt out of the marriage at the first big problem they run into. A friend of mine married a mall rat and then complained because she wanted to shop all the time. She didn’t like to camp, hike, or spend time in the great outdoors as he did. I asked him why he married her, since he knew she was a mall rat, and he said because she was hot.
Anyways, I wish you luck with your search GenrXr. Of course, just because she’s from south of America or some other country, there's no guarantee that she'll be more loyal to America and less loyal to her own country.
_________________
"God Bless America and keep watch over our military personnel. Thanks to all who have served and are serving now!" from a California American. |
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kman
Lt.Jg.
Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 132
Location: Diamond Bar, Ca.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2005 5:52 pm Post subject: |
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You might want to go to Lebanon. Some of those protester chicks are hot! Italy may have some competition for beautiful women--after America, of course.
Kurt
PS Married to the ONLY ONE for eighteen years (stay at home mom), and the folks have been married 51 years. I have never seen them fight. There's nothing wrong with Ozzie and Harriet IMO. |
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GenrXr
Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy
Joined: 05 Aug 2004
Posts: 1720
Location: Houston
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| Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 3:06 am Post subject: |
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| kimberly wrote: | [quote="GenrXr
What is sad is I will have to go south of America or overseas to find someone who still understands our greatness and doesn't take it for granted.
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I've gotten a 'kick' out of reading and following this thread and getting a chuckle at the men's perspective, but wow, I found my self both saddened and disturbed by this comment. It sounds like you are implying that the only women in America who hold this quality are already married or non-existent? That there are no single women who 'still understand the greatness of our Country'? Perhaps you just have a preference for 'other than American' women.[/quote]
Kimberly my last relationship was with a woman who had a group of friends who were all straight out of 'Sex In The City'. This show is a real reflection of todays culture. In regards to my comment concerning women in this country and their lack of appreciatiohn for this countries greatness, I would agree with you that this comment was over the top and was meant to make a jaded point on my part.
_________________
"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy |
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DLI78
PO3
Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 273
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| Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 5:37 am Post subject: |
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GenrXr,
I was going to suggest you try looking in the South for somebody patriotic and sane, then I noticed your location is Houston. Hmmm. Maybe a little further east and a bit further south?
USS Endicott made a good point: find somebody with similar interests.
If you are tempted to look outside the U.S., keep in mind that adds a lot of stress to the relationship. My wife is foreign, barely speaks English (but she understands it a lot better now), and she has some cultural ideals that are pretty strange. I speak her language fluently so that isn't a barrier. The cultural differences require constant give and take. It can also add some positive things to the relationship.
Good luck, man.
_________________
DLI 78
Army Linguist
1978-1986 |
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kimberly
PO2
Joined: 03 Sep 2004
Posts: 377
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| Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2005 8:58 am Post subject: |
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[quote="GenrXr
Kimberly my last relationship was with a woman who had a group of friends who were all straight out of 'Sex In The City'. This show is a real reflection of todays culture. In regards to my comment concerning women in this country and their lack of appreciatiohn for this countries greatness, I would agree with you that this comment was over the top and was meant to make a jaded point on my part.[/quote]
lol, I know all about being jaded. I tend to be cynical about certain things myself;) But I see that your 'over the top' comment brought you a little bit of scorn from others who took you seriously.
Up til now, I really thought you were half joking about needing to find a wife. I'm not sure why you chose the word 'need' rather than 'want', but in any case, since you are serious, my suggestion would be networking. Just like you do in finding a job. Let everyone you know, know that you are seriously looking. Every friend, family member, co-worker, etc. Put the word out to people you've met at clubs you belong to or organizations you are active in (like you did here). Accept all offers of introduction and make lots of dates (interviews). Give everyone a chance and don't judge a book by it's cover, unless the cover is more important to you than the content 
Anyway, that's what I would do if I were looking. Be prepared to be disappointed by many of the 'sex in the city' types, but don't burn bridges over it with the people who set you up. Most of all, don't take it all so seriously. Have fun with it, make it an adventure, and happy hunting! |
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Bob51
Seaman
Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 156
Location: Belfast
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| Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:22 am Post subject: |
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Looks like you have to be very careful about marriage partners in the U.S.
| Quote: | | "Interracial marriage is against nature. It's a form of bestiality." |
http://www.iht.com/articles/2005/03/09/opinion/edkristof.html
| Quote: | | You don't have to go to Saudi Arabia to find violent religious extremists steeped in hatred for all America stands for. |
Not sure what Kristof meant by this. How is interracial marriage part of "all America stands for"?
bob51 |
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Bob51
Seaman
Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 156
Location: Belfast
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| Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 4:28 am Post subject: |
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I suppose it's a kind of "sleeping with the enemy"... The price of a Vietnamese bride would be about US$6500 at today's exchange rates.
from today's SCMP: http://focus.scmp.com/focusnews/ZZZURMA585E.html
| Quote: | You would not think that relations between capitalist Taiwan and communist Vietnam would be particularly amicable. But the realities of life take precedence over the abstractions of political theory. And so it is that relations are, in fact, flourishing.
There was a 27 per cent rise in the number of Taiwanese tourists visiting Vietnam last year. Of course, these days all kinds of tourists and entrepreneurs can be seen in Ho Chi Minh City, increasingly one of Asia's most attractive metropolitan centres.
Taiwanese interest in Vietnam goes back at least 15 years, to the adoption of an "open-door" policy by the government in Hanoi, mirroring China's opening. Today, there is a large Taiwanese community living in the Phu My Hung area of Ho Chi Minh City, also known as New Saigon, an area being developed almost entirely with Taiwanese money. Investment and construction are marching hand in hand to advance Taiwanese interests there, just as they are extensively in the mainland.
But there is a more personal dimension to the relationship, as well. Taiwanese men of a certain age have, for some time, been in the habit of taking young Vietnamese wives, almost invariably in exchange for a financial consideration.
The older Taiwanese males become, one friend told me, the more anxious they are to produce male offspring. And so it is that Taiwanese-Vietnamese liaisons, whether resulting in residence in Taiwan or a second home in Ho Chi Minh City, are a significant phenomenon. The going rate is, apparently, NT$200,000 ($50,600) per bride.
The liaisons continue nonetheless, But there is a blot on the horizon in the amicable arrangement: women from Cambodia are now coming on to the market, and at a distinctly lower price. There is only one problem, another informant told me. Whereas Vietnam's culture has much in common with Taiwan's (Vietnam was ruled by China for 1,000 years in the first millennium AD), Cambodia's is utterly different, and Cambodians can only rarely speak Chinese.
When I raised this question in a Ho Chi Minh City restaurant, the young female public relations executive looked down at her cutlery and blushed. There were three things to be said about the practice, she said finally.
First, it made the poor rural families usually involved rich beyond their wildest dreams. Second, the government acquiesced in the practice because the marriages that resulted were above board and legal. But third, she said, the Vietnamese public was embarrassed by the whole business - these were widely seen as marriages without romance. |
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