SwiftVets.com

Skywatch · Ensign Joined: 22 Aug 2004 Posts: 74 Location: Michigan

Kerry goes to Hell

One day in the future, John Kerry has a heart-attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a few folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.?

Kerry thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it, was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Kerry said. "I don't think so. I've got some shrapnel in my leg from Vietnam that bothers me sometimes so I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I have an old war injury on my arm and I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Kerry.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Kerry saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Kerry looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
.

(This is priceless)

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Very Happy

Mods: My apologies if this is a little too off color for the group but I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Please delete if necessary..
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US Army 75-78
FRONT TOWARD ENEMY

Kimmymac · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:20 am Post subject:

Oh, .....sometimes I feel like I have made a wrong turn and ended up in the guys locker room by mistake....but ....<still laughing>

blue9t3 · Admiral Joined: 23 Aug 2004 Posts: 1246 Location: oregon

Hey you! Ya you with the chin, hand me that soap! Wink

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MOPAR-BUYER

producehawk · PO1 Joined: 14 Aug 2004 Posts: 463

I can see Bill saying " just like old times eh john?"

dmackto · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:31 am Post subject:

lol ok have to steal that one
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Deborah
The FROZEN CHICKEN Journal

This is no time for ease and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure.
- Winston Churchill

LimaCharlie · PO2 Joined: 25 Aug 2004 Posts: 386 Location: Oregon

Considering he did it for the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese Communists, Kerry may consider it heaven.
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I was going to become an anarchist, but they had too many rules.

HOV1 · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:35 am Post subject:

Alright Johnny... coffee break's over... back on your head. Laughing

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USN 78-84 STS1(SS) USS George C. Marshall SSBN 654(G)

HOV1

Roon · PO2 Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 393 Location: Lilburn, GA

I don't think that one will make my church email list (although I'm sure most would enjoy it as much as I did!) Thanks for sharing!

Kimmymac · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:38 am Post subject:

Man, dmack: you aren't going to post that on Pajama Journal, are you? Shocked

Otis · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:39 am Post subject:

Not off color at all. Great punch line. Ha Ha Ha Ha
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"It is not a smear, if you please, if you point out the record of your opponent."
-Murray Chotiner-

Hondo · LCDR Joined: 26 Aug 2004 Posts: 423 Location: USA

Damn!! THAT IS PRICELESS!!!

dmakto - go for it! Widest possible dissemination!
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"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things: the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing worth a war, is worse."
-- John Stuart Mill

sdonions · PO3 Joined: 21 Jul 2004 Posts: 294

I need a new monitor. Just spit ALL over it.....Again Laughing

HOV1 · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 5:03 am Post subject: Bush reply to Kerry statements

http://media.texansfortruth.org/bushuncensored.mov

The appropriate response to Kerry's attacks.
Twisted Evil

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USN 78-84 STS1(SS) USS George C. Marshall SSBN 654(G)

HOV1

jataylor11 · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 5:07 am Post subject:

There are so many things I like about that joke ......

Ted Kennedy's hell -- should open some eyes

and poor Monica --- she does deserve the release after all what 20 year old hasn't done stupid things --- okay maybe not that stupid -- but redemption at 20 is our promise

Laughing

Digger · Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 5:14 am Post subject: I can't stop laughing

Two Johns in the Oval Orafice: Presidential election or gay marriage? Twisted Evil

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Hey swifty, I'm with you, Just watch you don't get "Kerry'd away in the propwash

Sgt. Maj. Seamus D.D. MacNemi R.M.C. Ret.