SwiftVets.com

Mary Ann Parker · LCDR Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 406

They did not say what part of Florida, but it looks
as if SAM has been coaching those kids again. Razz

Too good not to share.
Make it a great day.
Make it a fun day. Very Happy

Mary Ann
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JOB APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.

LewWaters · Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2004 8:44 pm Post subject:

Actually, this comes from a now defunct humor column Laughing

http://www.bulmash.com/04-10-97.html
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Clark County Conservative

GM Strong · Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2004 8:49 pm Post subject: Re: JOB APPLICATION - Florida

JOB APPLICATION

LOL, Touche.
I always loved the 2 "Where do you want to be in 5 years?" and "May we Contact your Current Employer". Five years is a long time and my standard thought was "still working" and " Hell no, If they knew I was looking I'd be done for otherwise Geez, they just let me go in a RIF, screw'em." I could never figure out why those ER types thought this stuff meant anything or why the job coaching people(outplacement) ever thought it was meaningful.
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8th Army Korea 68-69

Mary Ann Parker · LCDR Joined: 02 Sep 2004 Posts: 406

Lew is right! Shocked

This version is revised somewhat, but definitely a
plagirized humor.

Is there no end to those people??
Still funny.
Thanks Lew.
Mary Ann

Guest · Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 3:54 am Post subject:

Digger · Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 7:50 am Post subject:

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Hey swifty, I'm with you, Just watch you don't get "Kerry'd away in the propwash

Sgt. Maj. Seamus D.D. MacNemi R.M.C. Ret.