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Tom Poole
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 Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 2:13 am Post subject: Doc Farmer's End of the Year Bric-a-Brac |
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| Doc Farmer wrote: | | ...Whither the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth? Granted, they did the country a great service by exposing John Kerry’s duplicity, lies and treason. Why haven’t they followed up and provided testimony for a criminal indictment? These guys don’t leave jobs half-done, usually....Bric-a-Brac |
Amidst a long list of year-end questions, Doc asked this one. I share his opinion that the SVPT organization did a great patriotic service. And I also wonder what the future holds for this great institution.
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Doc Farmer
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 12:17 pm Post subject: Here's the whole thing... |
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| Doc Farmer wrote: | 
Doc Farmer's End of the Year Bric-a-Brac
Written by Doc Farmer
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
This is sort of a quiet time of year for most people. Most news organizations do that tired old “that was the year that was” review, telling you all the stuff that you went through in the previous twelve months, as if your attention spans had been MTV’d down to around the goldfish level. You’re still sorting through all the wrapping paper you used at Christmas, hoping that your local Earth Liberation Front cell doesn’t get back at you for your blatant destruction of the forests by burning your house down. You’re still recovering from having relatives come and visit you (it takes my folks about two weeks to recuperate from me, poor things), or you’re still waiting for striking airline workers to return your luggage. You’re stocking up for New Years, of course - vodka, chips, scotch, dip, gin, nuts, vermouth, olives, rum, lemon slices, beer, Alka-Seltzer, wine, Vicodin, and a gift certificate to the Betty Ford Clinic (by the way, a sincere and hearty Get Well Soon to George Carlin).
Most of your colleagues have taken the week off, your plant is in shutdown mode, or you just can’t be arsed to get out of bed this week.
After the year we’ve all had, you feel like your get up and go has got up and went. You’re sort of cruising through the last seven days of this year. That’s how I feel, anyway.
So, this article won’t be very topical. I was going to rip Jan Egeland a new one for calling America “stingy” regarding our tsunami-relief efforts, but others have done that rather well. Besides, I’ve demanded the ouster of the United Nations at least twice this year already, so I’ve bagged my limit (note to VRWC: please increase this to four times next year!). I’m going to look back a bit, not at the stuff we already know about, but at the stuff we never got around to asking, that maybe we should have.
- Remember that guy who used to work for Clinton, and ended up stuffing secret documents in his pants and socks? What happened to him? Has he been arrested yet? And if not, why not?
- In that same vein, is Janet Reno still alive? She used to have a pretty popular dance party, from what I recall.
- Why haven’t scientists discovered how much wood a wood chuck chucks if a wood chuck could chuck wood? I’ve asked this earlier in the year, I know, but you’d think one of these yutzes would have cottoned on to getting a juicy government grant for this.
- Has anyone figured out why “The Passion of the Christ” hasn’t sprung up with a bunch of sequels, prequels or copy-cat movies yet? Normally, Hollyweird gravitates toward money, after all.
- Whither the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth? Granted, they did the country a great service by exposing John Kerry’s duplicity, lies and treason. Why haven’t they followed up and provided testimony for a criminal indictment? These guys don’t leave jobs half-done, usually.
- Why can’t we have Mad Warthog’s Disease? Most people like cows, and dislike warthogs. It just seems unfair to make cows bear the brunt of bad press.
- Speaking of that, why is it called “Mad” Cow Disease? Are they walking down the streets mumbling to themselves? Do they go up to the top of towers with high-powered rifles? Do they bomb McDonalds and Outback Steakhouses? Mad, indeed.
- We had an election this year, and proved that some people still can’t count. Somebody go back in the archives and dig up that idea I had about using lottery machines in the next election. Utah doesn’t have the lottery, of course, but they don’t really need machines. I mean, how long can it take them to tally up 1,438 votes by hand? Get a few of the wives to help.
- By the way, I believe a number of people expressed an interest to emigrate to Canada or Europe when the election didn’t go their way. So why the hell are they still here? North American Van Lines is at 1-800-823-0392, Mayflower is at 1-800-299-1700, U-Haul is at 1-800-468-4285, etc. Hell, I’ll even help some of you bozos pack!
- End of year stories usually include “top ten” lists. So how did Arafat’s death rate above Ronald Reagan’s demise? Kinda tells you where the media’s priorities are, doesn’t it?
- Shouldn’t there be a law that all these end of year “top ten” lists can only be compiled and presented by David Letterman? Frankly, he’ll do a much better job than those other guys.
- When will Fox News finally stop Susan Estrich and Alan Colmes from hitting each other with ugly sticks?
- When will CBS News finally announce that Dan Rather’s replacement is going to be Baghdad Bob?
- When will ABC News finally admit that Sam Donaldson got his hair the same place as Elton John? By the way, somebody please trim those anti-Christ eyebrows of his.
- There was supposedly a “reality” show this year that re-did Gilligan’s Island. So why didn’t they just leave the castaways there and spare us having to watch? I hope Bob Denver sues TBS for besmirching the good name of his character.
- How many of you have had enough “reality” by the bye? I mean, the only “real” reality this year was Janet Jackson’s Nipplegate (unless those were implants, of course).
- Did you hear that some lady cloned her cat for $50 grand? Why not clone something useful instead? Like Regis Philbin. As much as he’s on TV, he must need a bit of a rest.
- Are the truth in advertising laws still in effect? ‘Cause if they are, somebody had better rename “Everybody Loves Raymond” to “Almost Everybody Loves Raymond.” Frankly, I don’t even like Raymond all that much.
- Is Michael Moore still alive? If so, why? I half expect him to explode, a la “Mr. Creosote” in “Monty Python’s Meaning of Life” - I just hope nobody videos that. The movie version was bad enough.
- Before I forget, is Moore actually campaigning to get an Oscar? I still remember when he won the Palm d’Or in Cannes. He deserved the Palm d’Merde, quite frankly. Still does.
- Oh, did you hear that there was a scholarly study this year that objectively proved there is a strong liberal bias in the news media? You didn’t? Gee, I wonder why that wasn’t reported....
Have a Happy, Healthy and Blessèd New Year, everybody!
About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest. Doc receives e-mail at docfarmer9999@yahoo.co.uk.
This Article Was First Published In ChronWatch At: http://www.chronwatch.com/content/contentDisplay.asp?aid=12031 |
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Doc Farmer
LCDR
Joined: 07 Aug 2004
Posts: 442
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 12:19 pm Post subject: Re: Doc Farmer's End of the Year Bric-a-Brac |
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| Tom Poole wrote: | | Doc Farmer wrote: | | ...Whither the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth? Granted, they did the country a great service by exposing John Kerry’s duplicity, lies and treason. Why haven’t they followed up and provided testimony for a criminal indictment? These guys don’t leave jobs half-done, usually....Bric-a-Brac |
Amidst a long list of year-end questions, Doc asked this one. I share his opinion that the SVPT organization did a great patriotic service. And I also wonder what the future holds for this great institution. |
Just so you know, I'm looking in to contacting the local US F*****g Attorney to see if there is a way for a private citizen to bring a request for indictment against Kerry.
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RogerRabbit
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Joined: 05 Sep 2004
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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And while we are at it:
Why hasn't George Carlin been crucified as was Rush Limbaugh for his addiction to pain killers - hmmmm
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Doc Farmer
LCDR
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Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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| RogerRabbit wrote: | And while we are at it:
Why hasn't George Carlin been crucified as was Rush Limbaugh for his addiction to pain killers - hmmmm |
Apparently, because Carlin has been a vocal proponent of drug use.
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Tom Poole
Vice Admiral
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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| Doc Farmer wrote: | | ...I'm looking in to contacting the local US F*****g Attorney... |
If you do and there's a way, most SVPT supporters also would support you. But you'd have to endure 15 minutes of fame, not a pleasant thought. O'Neill, Corsi, Hoffmann, Hibbard, Schacte, Zumwalt, Elliot, Gardner and many more suffered terrible defamation at the hands of this cheesy punk and probably face more as Silky Pony continues his quest for power. Someone much earlier on this web site suggested a class action suit. That might take the bull's eye off your chest.
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Doc Farmer
LCDR
Joined: 07 Aug 2004
Posts: 442
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Tom Poole wrote: | | Doc Farmer wrote: | | ...I'm looking in to contacting the local US F*****g Attorney... |
If you do and there's a way, most SVPT supporters also would support you. But you'd have to endure 15 minutes of fame, not a pleasant thought. O'Neill, Corsi, Hoffmann, Hibbard, Schacte, Zumwalt, Elliot, Gardner and many more suffered terrible defamation at the hands of this cheesy punk and probably face more as Silky Pony continues his quest for power. Someone much earlier on this web site suggested a class action suit. That might take the bull's eye off your chest. |
I suggested a class action suit, but that's a civil matter. It would help in the discovery phase to release certain documents from their confidential or classified status.
As to taking the heat, it might cost me my consulting job. However, sometimes the truth is worth it. You guys already proved that.
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Doc Farmer
LCDR
Joined: 07 Aug 2004
Posts: 442
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA
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| Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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Folks,
I found out from the local US F*****g Attorney's office that in order to move forward with calling a Grand Jury, I have to provide them with actual evidence of wrongdoing. I've got that draft indictment that has been floating around the 'net, but I'm not sure if that points out enough legal detail regarding the evidentiary materials.
Any suggestions or comments would be most welcome on how to proceed. Thanks.
Doc
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