SwiftVets.com

[Guest]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my other favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.


Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

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REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men often complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge, the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! Wife 1.0 does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support

[Me#1You#10]

I understand that wife 1.0 also comes pre-configured with a pop-up stopper utility.

[SBD]

If wife 1.0 should ever become infected with a virus, immediately install Deny 6.0 and refer to Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony-Child Support.

CAUTION!!!
If Wife 1.0 can not clean the virus, the hidden background program Bobbitt 5.0 may be released.


SBD

[GenrXr]

_________________
"An activist is the person who cleans up the water, not the one claiming its dirty."
"All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797), Founder of Conservative Philosophy

[dusty]

Oh no....not the dreaded Bobbitt. That one can really cut down the size of your hard drive.

Dusty
_________________
Left and Wrong are the opposite of Right!

[DLI78]

Yup, a fragmented hard drive is a sad thing.

That is why professionals always use Trojan Firewall 2.0 or later as well as a good antivirus program.

By the way, HappyHour 6.0 is a shareware program for those trying to cope with Wife 1.0.

I only wish I had installed it before I "upgraded" to wife 2.0. Fortunately wife 3.0 has a sense of humor and doesn't lock up when I run HappyHour once in a while. Those of you encountering random Blue Screens of Death from Wife 1.0 or Wife 2.0 when attempting to run HappyHour should consider the upgrade to Wife 3.0. It worked for me.
_________________
DLI 78
Army Linguist
1978-1986

[Guest]

you people are sick!!!