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Big Kahuna · Posted: Sat May 22, 2004 6:42 pm Post subject: Kerry's War on Klingons!

Paris, France - Coming just days after his historic call for a return to manned outer space exploration, Presidential candidate John F’n Kerry-Heinz (if elected) intends to submit a bill to Congress that will establish a new branch of the Armed Forces known as Starfleet. Citing an increase in Klingon aggression, Senator Kerry-Heinz said the move is designed to prevent the Klingons from using their weapons of mass destruction against the United States.

“We know for a fact that the Klingons have photon torpedoes and phasers. Heck, even Hans Blix doesn’t deny that,” said Kerry-Heinz during an afternoon session with reporters in the Eiffel Tower. “And there’s also the Klingon cloaking device. But fortunately the Klingons can’t use their phasers and cloaking device at the same time, but it’s only a matter of time before they figure out how to do it. So we’ve got to act fast.”

The Senator would neither confirm nor deny rumors that the Klingon Empire is cooperating with Al Qaeda, nor would he comment on reports that future National Security Advisor Ted “Dunkum” Kennedy will been sent to the Neutral Zone for preliminary diplomatic talks with Romulan representatives.

In related news, Kerry-Heinz has announced that if elected, all visitors to the United States from the Klingon Empire will be photographed, fingerprinted and have plaster casts made of their foreheads.
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Top 10 Weasels.com is where Kerry is Weasel #1

sparky · Former Member Joined: 06 May 2004 Posts: 546

Trite.

By the way, how's the Bush Mars operation going these days? Has he made any progress or was that stupidity just a ploy to make him appear visionary?

Cam Ranh '71 · Posted: Sun May 23, 2004 5:45 am Post subject:

Hey Sparky,
Just out of curiosity, with 378 posts in 16 days, PLUS an oil field worker, when the hell do you have the time to eat and sleep, AND worry about George Bush going to Mars??
Are you also a Vet?

hist/student · Lieutenant Joined: 09 May 2004 Posts: 243

unabashed comprehensive retraction

Big Kahuna · Posted: Sun May 23, 2004 4:22 pm Post subject:

378 posts in 16 days -- dang, he must be on the DNC's payroll.

Proof again that the Left doesn't have a sense of humor -- even though they nominate a stooge.
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Top 10 Weasels.com is where Kerry is Weasel #1

sparky · Former Member Joined: 06 May 2004 Posts: 546

Oil field workers rotate out, fellers. I've gone months without a day off and I've also gone months without a day of work.

I'm not a vet. Just a mere citizen.