SwiftVets.com

[You GottaBeKidding]

nightingale97:

I was wondering about the trash can vs. shredding thing. It just didn't seem likely to me that papers would be thrown away instead of shredded.

[silenthunter]

[Skypilot]

To funny not to post this!


RATHER BLAMES ROVE IN ROCKET-SKATE MISHAP

NEW YORK - Veteran anchorman Dan Rather implicated White House Political Director Karl Rove as “the mastermind behind the so-called Acme Group” after his rocket-powered roller skates exploded during a Wednesday CBS Evening News investigative report.

Rather had donned the controversial Acme skates — along with an Acme brand Bat-Man suit — in a complicated sting operation to reveal what he termed a “deep conspiracy between the White House and internet partisans to cover up George Bush’s shameful military records.”

The investigation went awry soon after Rather lit the skates, releasing what NYU Physics professor Alan Sokal estimated as “20,000 to 30,000 pounds of thrust.” The heat of the initial explosion was so intense that it singed the hair off several nearby CBS reporters, including Rather’s anchor heir-apparent John Roberts.

The blast sent Rather hurtling along 53rd Street toward the Hudson River at speeds estimated upwards of 200 miles per hour, scarcely slowing as the runaway skates drug the helpless journalist over, under and through stalled rush hour traffic.

Rather frantically righted himself just in time to hurtle cleanly though the side of an MTA bus at 7th Avenue, leaving a gaping Rather-shaped hole. The impact sent Rather careening down the stairs of the 50th Street subway terminal, through a turnstile, and onto the tracks of the Uptown-bound 1 train.

“The incoming tunnel was sparking and lighting up, I thought there was some kind of power problem,” said Carla Robertson, who witnessed Rather speeding through the tunnel at the 34th Street platform. “Later I realized it must have been his ass hitting the third rail.”

Robertson said she didn’t pay much attention when she saw a spread-eagled Rather, screaming along the tracks on rocket roller skates.

“This is New York, so we see celebrities all the time,” said Robertson. “Then I realized he was heading downtown on the uptown tracks.”

Witnesses as far as Chelsea report hearing the collision as Rather met the next oncoming train, which sent the newsman rocketing skyward through a man hole cover at 31st and Broadway, arms flailing wildly, his rocket skates sputtering their last spare ounces of fuel.

Midtown bystanders looked on in horror as the award-winning broadcast titan began plummeting from his 3000-foot apex. Amazingly, though, Rather’s arm-flailing and prescient decision to wear the Bat-Man suit had paid off. Regaining composure after the initial shock, he began soaring over the skyline of Manhattan, swooping through its concrete canyons.

Rather’s high-flying antics came to a abrupt conclusion when he splattered into the New York Times building. Momentarily stunned, he peeled off the side into a desperate pummet, not realizing his Bat-Man wings remained adhered to a 38th floor window.

Gasping for breath as he climbed from his Rather-shaped crater on 43rd Street, he quickly faced another ignominy: his impact had jarred loose a grand piano that was hanging from a rope outside William Safire’s 30th-story office. As the shadow of the piano slowly grew, Rather pulled out a tiny umbrella and picket sign that read “Yipes!!”

His lump-covered head peering through the demolished keyboard, Rather finally played an off-key rendition of “Taps” with his piano-key teeth.

Rather remains in guarded condition at Cedars-Sinai hospital, but says his legendary investigative ferocity “is as healthy as Olympic weightlifter’s liver.”

“Batten down the barn door, Aunt Gussie, we’re got more stories coming, and I promise you that these will sting the Bush boys like syphillitic urine,” said a defiant Rather.

Rather said that the CBS news team was already working on a new story that would “prove, once and for all, that Karl Rove made those rocket skates.”

“I can’t reveal much right now,” added Rather. “We’re still trying to line up the necessary catapult.”
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Please Mr. Kerry Sign Form #180 Now!
Let the truth set you free? NOT!

[neverforget]

[ASPB]

[twicearound]

Checked the sight, didn't see this, it is similar to the crushkerry sight, and goes to kerry campaign's previous knowledge.

http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=7096
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twicearound

[Frank B]

Fox News Live this a.m. is reporting the suspected Abilene Kinko's link to CBS.

Keep their feet to the heat.........!!
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"Any government that believes money should be taken from Peter to pay Paul will, of course,
have the support of Paul" -- G B Shaw

[JCJR]

Some useless speculation...

Many have wondered how anyone except a junior high kid could have made such poor forgeries.

On the Burkett possibility--

* Supposedly Burkett was a Systems Analyst for 27 years. If that means 'computer systems analyst', this guy cut his teeth with punch cards and COBOL on big iron IBM mainframes. Such guys can have minimal appreciation for the fine points of graphic design.

* Some modern programmers make beautiful-looking program windows, but the programs are horribly buggy. Some programmers make high-quality reliable software that is ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road. Well, there are also the losers who make buggy ugly programs.

Anyway, talented programmers who make insanely ugly program windows, have such poor aesthetic sense that they never notice anything wrong with the screen layout. They are so interested in the 'function', that they never notice the 'form'. It takes a lot of gentle persuasion, to make those guy realize that customers actually value a program's appearance.

* Burkett supposedly had at least one nervous breakdown.

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Given a person with intelligence and experience, but with mental problems and no aesthetic appreciation for layout-- It is easy to imagine that such a person would never even think about 'trivial' factors such as fonts and formatting.

[spudhorse]

I was playing around looking at Burkett's writing style. I'm by no means any sort of an expert so FWIW.

Here's an article Burkett wrote in 2003:
The price of a loaf of bread, or the value of human life.

The one thing that's obvious is that he doesn't punctuate very well.

[Frank B]

As we watch Rather and CBS continue to defend the indefensible, we are seeing the continuation of the demise of network news. While standing by the content of the forged documents, they parade a former secretary of suspect memory and political affiliation to give credibility to their smelly reporting. How much more desperation and denial will we see before CBS comes clean?

Rather sits in front of the camera like an emotionless robot spouting the same old liberal dodge words and phrases while the world watches in disbelief. This is no longer a freedom of speech issue...this is a concerted effort to use fraud and deception to affect an election's outcome in favor of the liberal media's candidate....and there are laws prohibiting that.

The congressional effort to bring CBS to task will be worth keeping tabs on.
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"Any government that believes money should be taken from Peter to pay Paul will, of course,
have the support of Paul" -- G B Shaw

[jataylor11]

[VAW11_Vet]

Bad news for CBS! The man than owns the Kinko's in Abilene is a real estate guy who is a huge, huge Bush supporter.
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VAW-11 NAS North Island 1961-1966

[Steve Z]

Does that mean that he could tell who sent the memos? He might not have been watching his Fax machine at the time...
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The traitor will crater!

[kennyd1165]

Here is a link to the current story on the CBS web page.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/09/06/politics/main641481.shtml

It quotes:

"Bill Burkett, a retired National Guard officer from Texas, has been cited in reports in Newsweek and The New York Times as a source for CBS' report. Burkett is not talking to the press."

We know that CBS knows who the real source is. If it isn't Burkett and CBS authored the above story, wouldn't that be defamation of Burkett. I mean they would be reporting something defamatory about someone that they know isn't true. I don't think it would matter if they were only citing reports of others, because they have knowledge of the real source.

Just wondering.

[azpatriot]

Correct me if i'm wrong but wouldn't a Kinko's use a software faxing system to save money, you know something similar to eFax, but writen for Kinko's. You pay to have something faxed from Kinko's at point A to a point B destination, but what Kinko's does in not actualy make a phone call but route the fax through their software to the closest Kinko's to the destination, which then dials the number of the destination as a "local call" this saves them big bucks in long distance fee's. But more impotantly it provides a more accurate level of "traceability" and multiple destinations can be done at once with one sending. All that is needed is to have the owner of the Kinko's in Texas look at the software logs for that day and time and bingo we'll have our anwsers.
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Proud to be an American! and member of the PAJAMAHADEEN
FedEx Kinko's: When it absolutely, positively has to be forged overnight