SwiftVets.com

[Kimmymac]

So I put a post on here today saying Kerry's fingernails are disgusting, and he needs to cut them.

Then I hear on FOX News just now that he stops on the way to the debates and gets a manicure.

Meanwhile....the President is visiting the victims of the hurricanes in Florida, and wearing his nails down by handing out relief.

KERRY, ya big doofus, listen UP! When *I* say you need to cut your nails I mean you are suppossed to cut your nails like a MAN, you pathetic metrosexual fop--not get a manicure before The Big Debate like you are on "A Wedding Story" If he shows up on my TV screen tonight with an updo, I will puke.

Last weekend I was talking to my husband about whether or not we should be thinking about helping our 19 year old buy a newer car, and he is listening to me, leaning on the fence post, messing with his leatherman. (A leatherman is like a swiss army knife on steroids, btw) I said, "Are you cutting your nails with that?" He looks up and says, "Yeah, look, it even has a thing to smooth 'em with. You can smooth 'em with one side, and use the other to file down the spark plugs on the tractor. This thing is neat!" But then, my husband can also catch a football without making me wince.

Kerry needs a Big Brother or something.

[blue9t3]

Kimm,
Thanks for reminding me, Im gona go pick up a six-pac and some barf bags for the big debate!
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MOPAR-BUYER

[Guest]

[kmudd]

I bet Kerry's fancy hair stylist has been flown in on Tereasa's private jet too.

[cipher]

[Kimmymac]

Well, I do say ya'all but I am equally likely to say "you guys" since I grew up in Oceanside, CA on Pendleton Marine Base.

So I don't say "yee haw" nearly as much as I say HOO RAH

And so I can tell you this much: neither cowboys from Texas nor Marines from Pendleton get manicures, spend time in tanning booths, or have hairdressers flown in on private jets.

HOO RAH! capice?

[JimRobson]

Kimmy, don't you know? The really cool dudes let their nails grow long so they don't need to carry a coke spoon. I'm not saying the Senator snorts coke, but maybe he wants the relatability factor with the really cool dudes who do.
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ETN2 PTF2 (Littlecreek Underwater Demolition Unit 2 1963)

http://www.thewebplace.com/

[Wynne]

Kimmymac, re: 'The Manicure': you are wonderful -- thanks for the best laugh of the day (so far -- I expect a few more tonight hahahahaha)
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TRUTH IS ALWAYS THE VICTOR

[Poposwife_Retiredarmywife]

My sweet husband and I were going through one of our couple of nightly rituals (when he works evenings), on this particular night it was sharing an order of french fries and a shake. (Yes I know...unhealthy, heart attack in a cup/carton...but we don't do it often)

I was talking about Mr. Kerry. My husband relies on me to keep him updated when he's on night shift because he works from 6pm-6am and sleeps during the day.

I was telling him about the hair tinting, the horrible orange skin tone...the heat thats going to be on the stage (running orange spray tan..can you say BLECH?)

I was telling him how it's not bad enough that he has no stance, or all stances...that he's a traitor and pretender....

But now he's being more "foofy" than normal (If you can use the word normal for John Kerry) too. I told him I felt like I wanted to get sick.

(This manicure thing is over the top, I don't know if I'll tell him because it would only reaffirm his position on what follows)

My dear sweet husband gave me nightmares last night, and it earned him a smack on the arm.

He said (finger in the air pointing) "I'VE GOT IT!"

Then he asks "What do women have that men don't?"

I hadn't a clue except the obvious.

He replied "Womens PEROGOTIVE, the ability to change their minds at a moments whim without any explaination."

(No ladies, this isn't when he got the smack..that comes later)

"All that kissy face with Edwards, how masculine Terry is (He calls her that because he knows she would hate it) the gay marraige support, the way he catches a football, throws a baseball. (That ALMOST got him a smack....wait...its coming) "

I waited, in dread....

"What are you talking about baby?"

He replies with a very straight face...

"He's a woman trapped in a mans body!"

THAT is when he got the smack

He then went on to say "Can you just see him with the Village people in the cowboy outfit singing Johnny boy?"

That my dear friends, is what gave me nightmares.

then then <SHUDDER>

Lorelei

[dmackto]

[cipher]

[Becky]

[Kimmymac]

Jim Robson: you know, I thought of the coke thing too! How evil of us. But it is gonna take more than skanky long nails to make THAT dude cool.

Wynne: you're welcome. I hope we have lots of laughs tonight, and they are all on Senator Kerry.

THIS JUST IN: My daughter is watching the debates tonight at a local watering hole/hang out, and all of her girlfriends are putting orange peel-off face masque on their faces, and wearing t-shirts that have yellow stripes down the back. She was a swimmer and she is going to pin a bunch of the medals she won in competitions on her shirt, claiming they were from war exploits. One of her friends has an old nasty green fatigue hat, and she is going to keep it in her purse, bringing it out everytime Bush makes a good point, pretend she is crying, and use it as a kleenex.

I ask again: where did these kids learn to behave like that? Must be on their father's side.

[kman]

Ann Coulter (Grrrrrr!) nailed it months ago by calling The Hero a rich woman's poodle.

Kurt

[cipher]