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Lets laugh once...

 
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Geano
Lieutenant


Joined: 28 Aug 2004
Posts: 237
Location: Kentucky

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 2:56 pm    Post subject: Lets laugh once... Reply with quote

Currently making the rounds through Kentucky…(I have modified the last line…)

In The Beginning,God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables.

He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Queen.. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said: "Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one too...with sprinkles."

And low and behold they gained 10 pounds.

And so God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.

And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad."

And Satan presented crumbled fried bacon, Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said: "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.

And Man packed on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy Lycra jogging suits.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double cheeseburger.

Then Satan said: "You want fries with that?"

And Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!"

And Satan said: " It is good."

And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

Then God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

Satan chuckled and created the Kerry/Edwards/Kennedy Health Care Plan.
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MSM Lead Nov 3 2004 "Kerry Oval Office Hopes killed by 10,000 Mice..."
Candidate had declared mice "only a nuisance".
States they "moved too Swiftly"....
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Steve Z
Rear Admiral


Joined: 20 Aug 2004
Posts: 687
Location: West Hartford CT

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 7:19 pm    Post subject: "Genesis" Reply with quote

In the last line, Geano forgot to mention Hillary in the health care plan!

Sequel: "And Kerry took his two wives and three daughters and lawyer and thousands of mating pairs of asses into the ark. And God caused it to rain for forty days and forty nights, and the waters did prevail upon the earth, and the ark rose upon the waters. And God called the Swift Boat Veterans who did puncture the ark of Kerry with many breaches, and the ark of Kerry with his lawyer and his wives and his daughters and his asses was cast asunder into the fountains of the great deep. Then the waters assuaged, and the dry land did appear, and God lit the flame of liberty in a burning Bush, and there was peace and prosperity upon the land."
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The traitor will crater!
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ArmybratNavywife
Ensign


Joined: 12 Sep 2004
Posts: 54

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 8:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another funny.......



Go to google.com and type in French victories and hit the I'm feeling lucky button
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buffman
LCDR


Joined: 21 Aug 2004
Posts: 437

PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steve Z , that was brilliant! LMAO!
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